Would You Like Some Drama With Your Drama?

Is it any surprise that Tobias likes mermaids?

Gilligan???

After spending about 8 weeks with the same group of people, working for hours on making "The Little Mermaid" a successful production, I realize once again that any time you get a bunch of people together, there will be politics and contention.

I've gotten rather good at playing Swedish. 1) When a person from one camp starts to gossip to me about someone in the other camp, I simply smile and change the subject. Perhaps I'm getting a reputation of being a poor conversationalist, but such is the price I pay for keeping my ears clean. 2) If I happen to overhear something that others would find either particularly enthralling or upsetting, I flush it down the mental toilet, never to be seen again. 3) My favorite ploy (which I have yet to use in this specific environment) is to tell person A that person B said something nice about them. (Unfortunately, I have yet to hear persons A or B say anything positive about the other, but if they do so in a moment of dizzying magnanimity, I'll be sure to immediately pass it on.)

Hmmm...anyway, on to the musical itself...

Opening night was last Thursday and it actually went quite well. I was a bit nervous during those last couple of days before it opened because some of the kids still had a ways to go with learning their lines. Somehow, it all got pulled together.

This little sea horse doesn't look ill.

A few of the kids got sick. Delaney was actually throwing up into the toilet at the theater just one hour before the show started. She was determined to go through with her part, though. I didn't really want her to for fear that she might unload again on stage (some guy with a video camera in the front row might have become $10 K richer via AFV), but she was so determined that I felt unjustified in telling her no. (Besides, I don't think there was anything else left in her poor little tummy.) I thought it was just nervousness, but then I found out that several other kids had it, too.

So, now the kids have four performances under their belt and they've got 6 more to look forward to.

SOMETHING SUPER EXCITING!!!

Okay, for those of you who don't know...every year, I plan our family summer vacation and surprise Jeff and the kids. They know when we're going, but they don't know where, how, who we'll see, or what we'll do.

Well, our trip is just around the corner and I think they're all really going to be surprised (in a good way!) this year. I've already skillfully planted some seeds in their heads that will soon germinate into joyful understanding as they vacation and look back on the last month or so.

Sorry, but I can not disclose any of the gorgeous details about our trip for obvious reasons. Don't worry, I'll be posting about it all post-vacation to the point that I just might bore you to tears...

The Joys of Home-Ownership

This isn't likely to be pictured in "Homes and Land":



Nor is this:

Nor this:

The above are all the things we presently need to fix on our home. We are very grateful for our house, but the benefits to renting become obvious when one is faced with images such as these.
Let's just say that the government's economic stimulus package came at a great time although even more stimulation may be necessary to accomplish all the goals we have.

One nice thing about our place is the cherry tree out front. This year we have more cherries ripening on it than I've ever noticed before. Unfortunately, this is also the year that a swarm of bees decided to choose our tree as its most recent resort location for a bee convention. This is enough to strike terror in the heart of any epi-pen user:


Apparently, bees swarm like this while scouts are out looking for a good place to build a hive. Vector Control informed me that they'll move on in a few days. Let's hope it happens before all the gorgeous ruby fruits shrivel up and drop onto the lawn below.

I'm so thankful that Delaney didn't have an unfriendly encounter with these guys. One of her favorite things to do in our yard is climb up in that tree and read a book or pick cherries if there are any.

The testosterone coursing through Tobias' body overrode his brain last night. My normally intelligent son asked, "Can I put on sweats and go shoot it with my pellet gun?" Usually, I try to be a kind mother, choosing words carefully so as to not bruise any budding ego, but to this request I answered, "That's about the stupidest plan you've ever had. " I then went on to explain what a horrific and swollen experience he'd likely have if he put his plan into action.

(Incidentally, when I was about 5, a neighbor boy threw a rock at a wasp nest when I was walking by. Guess who got stung and who didn't get stung...I'm still bitter.)

It was a good thing that Jeff wasn't at home at the time, because when he arrived home and I showed him the swarm, his first words were, "I want to shoot it with my paintball gun!"

What is it with you testosterone bearers???

He was only joking. (Sort of.)

I had to mow the lawn today and I decided that the grass directly under the cherry tree looked rather charming longer than the rest of the lawn. I realized this when two bees started circling me and the mower and continued to do so even as I moved away from the tree. I think that was Apiarian for "Back off, human!" Which I did.

Below you'll see one of God's gentler creatures:

This lovely little fellow is a horned lizard. Here he is, on our swing in the front yard. Despite his thorny looking appearance, he is actually very calm and rather sweet (in a grumpy looking way). No, he's not our pet, but we all enjoyed picking him up and examining him up close before we let him continue on his way out in the wild.

The Mental Complexities of Grocery Shopping

I finally did it!

It seems that the gals at the deli counter at my local supermarket often don't hear me when I ask for a half of a pound of whatever lunch meat I'm wanting to purchase. About half of the time they slice up a whole pound, throw it in a bag and pass it across the counter to me while asking if I want anything else. Usually, I meekly accept the extra half pound of unwanted meat and stumble away, nursing the beginnings of an identity crisis: Am I a kind-hearted soul who doesn't want to draw attention to the glaring negligence of a supermarket worker OR am I merely a coward who needs to figure out what casserole I'm going to toss the excess meat into to justify it's existence in my cart? Well, we all know the answer to that question, but moving right along...

...today, I finally did it! When "Maggie" asked what I wanted, I very clearly enunciated each syllable as I stated, "I'd like a half of a pound of Virginia Ham, please." This statement was followed by a sincere smile (probably a smile of friendliness in her mind, but really a smile of hopefulness in mine). Well, you guessed it, a mere moment later I saw her heaving a foot high pile of pink slices on to the scale.

Apparently, all the years of keeping mum and spending money on meat that I had no intention of feeding my family finally came to a head.

"Oh, I just wanted half a pound," I blurted out.

"Oh, sorry," Maggie replied, skimming the top half of the pile off and tossing it aside. "Would you like anything else?"

Yes, it was that easy! And as pathetic as it sounds, I'm planning on doing it again next week, uh, I mean next time it happens.

On the heels of this minor victory, I continued my exercise in commerce over in the produce section where yet another test of my character awaited me.

I approached the bags of grapes with caution, barely resisting the urge to glance around to see who might witness my possible breach in propriety.

You see, I hate buying a whole big bag of grapes without tasting one because sometimes they are quite tasteless and who wants to discover that in their own kitchen, $4.00 poorer? Why not sample one in an air-conditioned oasis while bad music spills out of the speakers above, possibly saving yourself from a pointless purchase?

However, the angel on my shoulder asked, "Would you sample an apple in the same manner? What about an orange?" Of course, the answer was No.

So there I stood, staring at the bags of little purple orbs, willing my taste buds to somehow sense the delectability of the fruits without actually doing their intended job.

Sometimes I buy some and sometimes I don't. Today I did, but I have yet to try them. This story is not to be continued.

On another note...

The musical rehearsals that have taken over our lives are going well. Tobias makes a great sailor and Delaney is a lovely seahorse. If any of you want to come see it, let me know and I'll tell you the show times and ticket prices.

...AND...Jeff's leg has pretty much healed, though I believe it is scarred for life.

Now For Something Pleasant...

A few days ago, Delaney had her phase 1 braces removed.

In a mere forty minute orthodontist appointment, she went from being this cutie-pie...



...to this cutie-pie.



How do you like the retainer she picked out? (Nope, it doesn't taste like watermelon, too.)