A couple of days ago, I ran across what might be my all-time favorite internet discovery!
A year ago, my friend, Tecla, was teaching me the Romanian words to worship songs because we were going to Romania to put on a one day women's conference and I wanted to sing the songs with the women. I loved it. Languages fascinate me.
Well...lately, I've really been wanting to learn to speak another language. I mean, I know a little bit of French and even less Spanish, but I certainly can't have a real conversation in either one.
I was thinking about buying a Rosetta Stone program for my computer, but they are so expensive! Also, I knew it would be most practical (by far) to learn Spanish than any other language considering where I live. However, Spanish doesn't really capture my imagination like something like Gaelic does. (My hometown isn't exactly crawling with Gaels.)
Anyway, I didn't think it would be good-stewardly of me to buy a several hundred dollar program in order to learn a language that I'd pretty much never use, but the desire to become bilingual was so intense.
Of course, I prayed about it, not wanting to pour myself into something that would be a complete waste of time, but still feeling this strong want.
Hee, hee, hee...a couple of days ago I ran across this website where you can learn languages in a Rosetta Stone type manner and...it's FREE! It's at www.livemocha.com and it is awesome! (No, I'm not getting paid to write this.)
I chose German. Why? It makes me laugh (and Gaelic isn't an option).
German is great! I mean, what other language uses "Kugelschreiber" for 'pen' and "Krankenschwester" for 'nurse'? (Okay, quite obviously no other language does, but it's very cool that German does.)
I've learned so much in just three days. Sure, my conversations are limited to inane sentences such as: The woman is on the couch (Die Frau ist auf dem Sofa) and A boy is in the car (Ein Junge ist im Auto), but still...I'm loving it. (And, yes, I was supposed to capitalize all of those nouns.)
If you want to learn Hindi, Mandarin Chinese, Russian, Spanish, French, Portuguese or a few others (sorry, April, :( Romanian isn't offered ), then check it out.
It's very effective and some people (like me) would go so far as to say that it's fun. Native speakers correct your assignments and you get to correct assignments of people who are learning English. You can chat on line in English or whatever you're learning and you can work on your course of study whenever you want...
thus my excitement!!!
(By the way, "glucklich" means 'happy'.)
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Thursday, August 21, 2008
5th, 8th and No Sky Light
The kids are back in school. I took pictures on the morning of their first day back, but they were both acting so goofy that the pics didn't turn out very well.
Delaney was uneasy about going back to school because only one of her five "best friends" was going to be in her new class. My assurances that she would make new friends soon only seemed to annoy her. Anxiety always seems to accompany change in her life. I remember that the first few weeks of first grade were really tough. She'd come home and seem fine, but then an hour later she'd burst into tears. When asked what was the matter, she'd blubber, "I don't know...I don't know!" I'd just hold her, thinking about how sometimes I feel like doing that, too. :)
Anyway, she has a male teacher this year for 5th grade and he's a very smart guy. He's been teaching the students "magic" tricks every day and their only homework so far has been to go home and perform the tricks for their family and anyone else who'll watch. That's one way to get the kids to like you! Delaney looks so cute and pleased when she has successfully wowed us.
Is that a grumpy girl with a super long tongue?
Nope, it's a happy girl with a big slice of red bell pepper.
Tobias is now a big, bad 8th grader. He recently dyed his hair black. What teenage boy doesn't want to do this at some point? I wasn't expecting to like it, but it looks quite nice with his eyes.
He had a wonderful time at the jr. high retreat. He came back saying that it was the best week of his life. On Thursday night, he was asked if he wanted to prepare a devotional for the following morning. He decided to prepare for it early Friday morning so that he wouldn't have to miss out on the fun that was happening on Thursday night. So, the counselor woke Tobias up at 5:00 am. Tobias knew he couldn't turn on the cabin light and wake up all the other kids and he thought he might get in trouble if he wandered off outside. Hmmm...there was only one place left to go...the bathroom, and there was only one seat there on which to sit...the toilet. So, he sat there looking up scriptures and taking notes on how to facilitate the discussion! If he goes into public speaking, he can always say that his career had humble beginnings. :)
What you see above has been a bane on our lives ever since we bought this house. It was a skylight in the den. The roof leaked around it and at certain hours it baked whatever poor fool was sitting at the computer. The sun would beat down and make you feel like a bug under a magnifying glass.
I wrote all of that in past tense because the skylight is no more. Yay! We had it removed and part of the roof redone over the past two days.
After we stain the wood, we'll be able to focus on fixing our shower:
Estimated date of completion--2033 (about the same time the mortgage is paid off.)
Speaking of monetary assets...I was at a party recently and a woman and I began to discuss a particular dining room set that we were looking at. She turned to me and asked, "So, in what style do you furnish your home?"
Realizing that she was serious, I quelled the chuckle that was tickling my throat, wondering, How do I answer this one?
I was afraid that my honest answer of "I furnish it with all of my relatives' cast off bits and pieces" might sound snide, so I floundered around until I heard myself say, "I'm big on practical items." (Hey, it's very practical to get free stuff from people who don't want it anymore, right?)
Apparently, this lady (who was a very nice lady, by the way) didn't know that she was talking with a member of a lower class. My Ross-bought duds didn't give me away! (Yesterday, I bought a dress at Ross for $2.99! I have to replace the zipper, but still...)
Delaney was uneasy about going back to school because only one of her five "best friends" was going to be in her new class. My assurances that she would make new friends soon only seemed to annoy her. Anxiety always seems to accompany change in her life. I remember that the first few weeks of first grade were really tough. She'd come home and seem fine, but then an hour later she'd burst into tears. When asked what was the matter, she'd blubber, "I don't know...I don't know!" I'd just hold her, thinking about how sometimes I feel like doing that, too. :)
Anyway, she has a male teacher this year for 5th grade and he's a very smart guy. He's been teaching the students "magic" tricks every day and their only homework so far has been to go home and perform the tricks for their family and anyone else who'll watch. That's one way to get the kids to like you! Delaney looks so cute and pleased when she has successfully wowed us.
Is that a grumpy girl with a super long tongue?
Nope, it's a happy girl with a big slice of red bell pepper.
Tobias is now a big, bad 8th grader. He recently dyed his hair black. What teenage boy doesn't want to do this at some point? I wasn't expecting to like it, but it looks quite nice with his eyes.
He had a wonderful time at the jr. high retreat. He came back saying that it was the best week of his life. On Thursday night, he was asked if he wanted to prepare a devotional for the following morning. He decided to prepare for it early Friday morning so that he wouldn't have to miss out on the fun that was happening on Thursday night. So, the counselor woke Tobias up at 5:00 am. Tobias knew he couldn't turn on the cabin light and wake up all the other kids and he thought he might get in trouble if he wandered off outside. Hmmm...there was only one place left to go...the bathroom, and there was only one seat there on which to sit...the toilet. So, he sat there looking up scriptures and taking notes on how to facilitate the discussion! If he goes into public speaking, he can always say that his career had humble beginnings. :)
What you see above has been a bane on our lives ever since we bought this house. It was a skylight in the den. The roof leaked around it and at certain hours it baked whatever poor fool was sitting at the computer. The sun would beat down and make you feel like a bug under a magnifying glass.
I wrote all of that in past tense because the skylight is no more. Yay! We had it removed and part of the roof redone over the past two days.
After we stain the wood, we'll be able to focus on fixing our shower:
Estimated date of completion--2033 (about the same time the mortgage is paid off.)
Speaking of monetary assets...I was at a party recently and a woman and I began to discuss a particular dining room set that we were looking at. She turned to me and asked, "So, in what style do you furnish your home?"
Realizing that she was serious, I quelled the chuckle that was tickling my throat, wondering, How do I answer this one?
I was afraid that my honest answer of "I furnish it with all of my relatives' cast off bits and pieces" might sound snide, so I floundered around until I heard myself say, "I'm big on practical items." (Hey, it's very practical to get free stuff from people who don't want it anymore, right?)
Apparently, this lady (who was a very nice lady, by the way) didn't know that she was talking with a member of a lower class. My Ross-bought duds didn't give me away! (Yesterday, I bought a dress at Ross for $2.99! I have to replace the zipper, but still...)
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Report to Carousel
If you're sad about something, you may want to hold off on reading this post, or at least get a Wipeout episode revved up and ready to view.
Anybody remember that movie called "Logan's Run"? It was a sci-fi type flick that channel five aired once a year back in the day before DVD players (or even VCRs).
I may not have the story completely correct, but basically, the people of Earth had created an indoor Utopia. I think there had been a war or some cataclysmic event that had destroyed life outdoors. Anyway, a weird thing about this new society was that once a citizen reached the age of about 30, they heard their name called over the intercom system and they were ordered to "Report to Carousel".
Sounds nice, right? Pick a slow moving horse on the merry go round and relax for a few minutes as you gently move in circles.
Wrong!
"Carousel" was this big, round room equipped with lasers. Those who were "reporting to Carousel" arrived having donned these weird white uniforms. They would situate themselves around the Carousel's perimeter while the rest of the people (those who had not been ordered to report to Carousel) filled the audience bleachers to watch. When everyone was ready, Carousel would slowly begin to spin, the 30 and up crowd would float up into the air and one by one they'd get zapped (and thus obliterated) until they had all disappeared.
Creepy stuff (even if I did get a few of the details wrong).
Logan was this one guy who heard his name called and he decided he wasn't going to cooperate with his annihilators. He ran off (with a beautiful woman, of course) and thus the movie was entitled "Logan's Run".
I remember being about Delaney's age and asking my dad, "Why are they zapping all those people?"
He informed me that that society didn't value people once they reached a certain age and that they were looked at as burdens, so for "the good of everyone", they were disposed of.
That totally freaked me out. I mean, at that time 30 did seem pretty ancient to me, but still...
I think what disturbed me the most was that the people willingly reported to Carousel and the others came to watch the mass murder like it was some sporting event.
And my point is...
It horrified my little-girl-mind that these people weren't valuing each other or even themselves.
Now, we can watch that movie and call it ridiculous, but by observing actual human nature, it really isn't that far fetched.
I just finished Elie Weisel's Nobel Peace Prize winning book, Night. It's his real life story about living in concentration camps and barely surviving. To say the story is horrendous is the understatement of a lifetime. Ultimately, what it's about is the negligence to value human lives and even beyond that to sadistically enjoy doing so.
The sick things described really happened. Reporting to Carousel genuinely seems like a very pleasant alternative.
A more recent example...
The other day, I read a news article about this famous "adult entertainer" who was the spokesperson for some foundation that was dedicated to educating women. Curious, I read on. Well, she was educating women that they should always require their sexual partners to use condoms. She said that a lot of women are afraid to do so.
WHAT?
Women are giving away their bodies (and arguably bits of their souls) and they're afraid to have parameters in regards to the process? Where are the boundaries in our society? Sick...
It's all a part of not valuing each other or ourselves.
So what about me...
Okay, so my examples thus far are pretty far removed from my day to day experience, but am I successfully valuing others as I ought?
My efforts to do so are pretty pathetic.
Yes, we sponsor a few kids through Compassion and yes, we are attempting to teach our kids good manners and values, and yes, we buy meals for any homeless person who approaches us, but what about everything else that I could be doing?
By American standards, my kids both needed braces very badly.
(Sorry about that, just illustrating my point!)
Straightening one's teeth is more than just for vanity's sake. There are benefits for oral hygiene and even digestive health, but how drastic of an improvement is made in either of these areas?
Braces cost about $4,000 per kid. If I'd given that money to a specified organization, they probably could have dug a well for an entire village in some African country or fed the entire village for a year.
Still, I handed it over to an orthodontist and said, "Straighten my kid's teeth."
You can call me overly dramatic, but it's clear to me that I just deprived an entire village of a much needed well.
Living in middle class America is like living in a carefully tended bubble where the temperatures of our homes are just right, the food is so abundant that a bunch of it rots in our fridges, the entertainment is constant, there are effective medicines for headaches, kids can get a decent education for free, a truck comes by every Tuesday to collect our trash, etc., etc., etc. It's every day life for us, but it's a veritable dreamland for the vast majority of the actual world.
I like taking vacations. I want my kids to have those memories with us and see the sights, but how many truckloads of medicine could I have bought sick people with the money I spent on our fabulous trip to Oregon?
I like fixing Jeff a juicy steak instead of serving him beans and rice after a hard day's work, but think of all the beans and rice I could buy for starving people if I limited our own grocery budget.
I like spending money on haircuts, but think of all the Bibles I could send to China in one year if I let my locks just grow.
Welcome to the inside of my head.
I can't talk myself out of these convictions...and yet how much do I actually do about them?
This whole post is somewhat rhetorical (although I'd love to hear whatever any of you have to say). For years I've struggled with these haunting thoughts of entitlement and lack of generosity.
I still remember being about 10 and seeing the distended bellies of starving Ethiopian children on TV. I sent about 8 dollars to the relief fund which was a huge chunk of my piggy bank's contents, but I knew it wasn't enough. Nor was it all that I had.
How many of my actions (or inactions) will I regret when I report to Carousel?
(Sorry if you needed a pick-me-up. This probably wasn't it.)
Anybody remember that movie called "Logan's Run"? It was a sci-fi type flick that channel five aired once a year back in the day before DVD players (or even VCRs).
I may not have the story completely correct, but basically, the people of Earth had created an indoor Utopia. I think there had been a war or some cataclysmic event that had destroyed life outdoors. Anyway, a weird thing about this new society was that once a citizen reached the age of about 30, they heard their name called over the intercom system and they were ordered to "Report to Carousel".
Sounds nice, right? Pick a slow moving horse on the merry go round and relax for a few minutes as you gently move in circles.
Wrong!
"Carousel" was this big, round room equipped with lasers. Those who were "reporting to Carousel" arrived having donned these weird white uniforms. They would situate themselves around the Carousel's perimeter while the rest of the people (those who had not been ordered to report to Carousel) filled the audience bleachers to watch. When everyone was ready, Carousel would slowly begin to spin, the 30 and up crowd would float up into the air and one by one they'd get zapped (and thus obliterated) until they had all disappeared.
Creepy stuff (even if I did get a few of the details wrong).
Logan was this one guy who heard his name called and he decided he wasn't going to cooperate with his annihilators. He ran off (with a beautiful woman, of course) and thus the movie was entitled "Logan's Run".
I remember being about Delaney's age and asking my dad, "Why are they zapping all those people?"
He informed me that that society didn't value people once they reached a certain age and that they were looked at as burdens, so for "the good of everyone", they were disposed of.
That totally freaked me out. I mean, at that time 30 did seem pretty ancient to me, but still...
I think what disturbed me the most was that the people willingly reported to Carousel and the others came to watch the mass murder like it was some sporting event.
And my point is...
It horrified my little-girl-mind that these people weren't valuing each other or even themselves.
Now, we can watch that movie and call it ridiculous, but by observing actual human nature, it really isn't that far fetched.
I just finished Elie Weisel's Nobel Peace Prize winning book, Night. It's his real life story about living in concentration camps and barely surviving. To say the story is horrendous is the understatement of a lifetime. Ultimately, what it's about is the negligence to value human lives and even beyond that to sadistically enjoy doing so.
The sick things described really happened. Reporting to Carousel genuinely seems like a very pleasant alternative.
A more recent example...
The other day, I read a news article about this famous "adult entertainer" who was the spokesperson for some foundation that was dedicated to educating women. Curious, I read on. Well, she was educating women that they should always require their sexual partners to use condoms. She said that a lot of women are afraid to do so.
WHAT?
Women are giving away their bodies (and arguably bits of their souls) and they're afraid to have parameters in regards to the process? Where are the boundaries in our society? Sick...
It's all a part of not valuing each other or ourselves.
So what about me...
Okay, so my examples thus far are pretty far removed from my day to day experience, but am I successfully valuing others as I ought?
My efforts to do so are pretty pathetic.
Yes, we sponsor a few kids through Compassion and yes, we are attempting to teach our kids good manners and values, and yes, we buy meals for any homeless person who approaches us, but what about everything else that I could be doing?
By American standards, my kids both needed braces very badly.
(Sorry about that, just illustrating my point!)
Straightening one's teeth is more than just for vanity's sake. There are benefits for oral hygiene and even digestive health, but how drastic of an improvement is made in either of these areas?
Braces cost about $4,000 per kid. If I'd given that money to a specified organization, they probably could have dug a well for an entire village in some African country or fed the entire village for a year.
Still, I handed it over to an orthodontist and said, "Straighten my kid's teeth."
You can call me overly dramatic, but it's clear to me that I just deprived an entire village of a much needed well.
Living in middle class America is like living in a carefully tended bubble where the temperatures of our homes are just right, the food is so abundant that a bunch of it rots in our fridges, the entertainment is constant, there are effective medicines for headaches, kids can get a decent education for free, a truck comes by every Tuesday to collect our trash, etc., etc., etc. It's every day life for us, but it's a veritable dreamland for the vast majority of the actual world.
I like taking vacations. I want my kids to have those memories with us and see the sights, but how many truckloads of medicine could I have bought sick people with the money I spent on our fabulous trip to Oregon?
I like fixing Jeff a juicy steak instead of serving him beans and rice after a hard day's work, but think of all the beans and rice I could buy for starving people if I limited our own grocery budget.
I like spending money on haircuts, but think of all the Bibles I could send to China in one year if I let my locks just grow.
Welcome to the inside of my head.
I can't talk myself out of these convictions...and yet how much do I actually do about them?
This whole post is somewhat rhetorical (although I'd love to hear whatever any of you have to say). For years I've struggled with these haunting thoughts of entitlement and lack of generosity.
I still remember being about 10 and seeing the distended bellies of starving Ethiopian children on TV. I sent about 8 dollars to the relief fund which was a huge chunk of my piggy bank's contents, but I knew it wasn't enough. Nor was it all that I had.
How many of my actions (or inactions) will I regret when I report to Carousel?
(Sorry if you needed a pick-me-up. This probably wasn't it.)
Thursday, August 14, 2008
The 73 Hour Ministry
Ahhh...I'm home.
Thank you to those of you who prayed for me. My time at Junior Camp with my eight girls was really wonderful. All of them were delightful young women and the biggest disciplinary issues I had to deal with were catching them eating candy in the cabin and whispering when they should have been either listening or going to sleep. They're all still up there in the mountains. (I had planned all along to come home one night early. My friend, Katrina, replaced me so I could spend a little time with Jeff before he left for a men's retreat this weekend.) I'm very thankful to announce that I slept quite well all three nights.
I slathered those 10, 11, and 12 year olds with tons of sunblock. No one was getting burnt on my watch. It got to where they'd freeze in place and stick out their cute little noses when they saw me coming with what they called "the Glue Stick" in my hand.
I knew they had accepted me into their tribe when we were playing "Telephone" and one of the sentences that went around the circle was "Aimee has big toes." Alas, 'tis true...At least they didn't say anything about my nose since that's harder to hide.
I pray that they understood the Biblical teaching. The main reasons for the camp were to help them know God and scripture better. It's a fearful thing to teach the Bible. You're basically speaking on God's behalf and that's about as serious of a part as one can play. Prayerfully the goals were accomplished.
I'll miss those girls. I'm glad I get to bring my favorite one home.
I won't post any pictures of the little darlings. Their parents' permission would be needed to post photos of children on a blog that has an audience as vast as this one has. (I'm very suspicious of one of the four of you.)
Thank you to those of you who prayed for me. My time at Junior Camp with my eight girls was really wonderful. All of them were delightful young women and the biggest disciplinary issues I had to deal with were catching them eating candy in the cabin and whispering when they should have been either listening or going to sleep. They're all still up there in the mountains. (I had planned all along to come home one night early. My friend, Katrina, replaced me so I could spend a little time with Jeff before he left for a men's retreat this weekend.) I'm very thankful to announce that I slept quite well all three nights.
I slathered those 10, 11, and 12 year olds with tons of sunblock. No one was getting burnt on my watch. It got to where they'd freeze in place and stick out their cute little noses when they saw me coming with what they called "the Glue Stick" in my hand.
I knew they had accepted me into their tribe when we were playing "Telephone" and one of the sentences that went around the circle was "Aimee has big toes." Alas, 'tis true...At least they didn't say anything about my nose since that's harder to hide.
I pray that they understood the Biblical teaching. The main reasons for the camp were to help them know God and scripture better. It's a fearful thing to teach the Bible. You're basically speaking on God's behalf and that's about as serious of a part as one can play. Prayerfully the goals were accomplished.
I'll miss those girls. I'm glad I get to bring my favorite one home.
I won't post any pictures of the little darlings. Their parents' permission would be needed to post photos of children on a blog that has an audience as vast as this one has. (I'm very suspicious of one of the four of you.)
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Guess who's 38...uh, 37!
Yes, that's right: Jeff is 37. (He thought he already was 37 and was turning 38, but after I did the math for a second time, it was confirmed that he's a year younger than he thought.)
He said that for his birthday, he wanted to watch Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) fights on TV while eating a Baskin Robbins ice cream cake. I told him that I could work with that. It's nice to know that you're giving someone something that they actually want for their birthday. (I still get teased for buying him a badminton set nearly 15 years ago. I happen to like badminton.)
So, we trekked over to his parents' house for some chicken, potato salad, cake and testosterone-charged entertainment. I didn't expect to enjoy watching UFC fights, but it's actually quite amazing. Those guys are so talented and tough. God brought forth a fascinating creature when he put "Man" together. It's amazing how these guys will spend several minutes practically trying to kill each other and then they'll hug each other all sweaty and bleeding after the final bell rings.
PLEASE PRAY FOR ME!!!
This next week I'm going to be the "cabin-mom" for 8 girls at our fellowship's summer camp for 4th, 5th and 6th graders. The reason why I had the idea to volunteer in the first place was because I was nervous about Delaney losing her retainer at camp. I thought, "I don't want to put pressure on the cabin-mom to make sure D's retainer is safe because she's going to have 7 other girls to look after with all their various needs." Then it occurred to me...Maybe they still need someone to volunteer to be the cabin-mom...and that is how my service came about. It's funny how God can use our fears to get us into fulfilling a need.
Delaney loved the idea and I know that's not likely to be the case for much longer, so I need to take advantage of that while I can.
Anyway, please pray that God will help me to lead and love those girls with wisdom and patience and that I will be able to sleep well. (I often have a hard time sleeping in my own bed, let alone on some lumpy mattress surrounded by giggling girls.) If I can't sleep, then I won't be able to be a good "mom" to all my girls.
Thanks!
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Got Hurt?
I've been thinking a lot lately about humans' potential to hurt each other.
Recently, I ran into a woman whom I haven't seen for years and years. Apparently, she felt pretty hurt by members of the Church in the past ten years or so and no longer even considers herself a part of the Church. She says she still believes in Jesus, but won't call herself a Christian. I don't know who is on her "list of hurters" (maybe I'm on it!), so I have no context by which to evaluate the authenticity of her grievances. However, I don't think that should be the point. When we hear about Christians doing un-Christ-like things, don't we automatically either assume that they aren't being represented fairly OR assume that they're just lousy Christians? It's one extreme or the other, but it probably shouldn't be. There are most likely sins on both sides of the conflict.
I'm a human fraught with faults and weaknesses and skewed perceptions. I'm far too sensitive and I'm ALWAYS thinking about myself. I'm a mess and I'm constantly dealing with other people who are messes as well. There have been a number of times that I've been tempted to withdraw from social groups because I was tired of feeling hurt on a regular basis. I'm not suggesting that withdrawal is never a good option, but we need to think rationally and pray things through, asking God to show us if we're making decisions based on our feelings or if they're actually wise decisions.
There are relational problems wherever there are relationships. It's more obvious out in the World, but we're liars if we say things are perfect in the Church. Congregants get mad at each other as do top leaders in ministries.
I don't like to make claims that I can't substantiate on the spot, so I'll inform you ahead of time that I don't have actual statistics for the following statement, (although I heard it from what I deem a credible source)-- Most missionaries who return early from the field due to relational problems didn't have the problems with the non-believers to whom they were ministering, but rather they had the problems with the other missionaries alongside whom they were ministering. I know there are A LOT of people who work very well together, but there are also a lot who really don't.
What is the standard by which we determine who is in the right and who is in the wrong? We all have varying codes of conduct. I may think of myself as being direct, but someone else labels me as rude. I might find someone's attempt at humor tasteless, but they think they're downright hilarious. Perhaps my attempt at being compassionate is perceived as blatant condescension. I think it's incredibly important to remember this when we find ourselves feeling hurt. When things aren't clear, assume the best in others. "Love is not provoked". (1 Cor. 13:5)
Of course, actual wrongdoing does occur. Jesus tells us how to deal with this in Matthew 18:15-17.
Once, I was tired of the frustrations I felt in a certain social group and after much prayer and even some fasting, I decided to curtail my interaction with the group. I knew that 1 Cor. 9:7 said, " ... let each one give as he purposes in his heart, not grudgingly or of necessity, for God loves a cheerful giver." My prevailing thought as I made the decision to limit my involvement with the group was, "I'm not a cheerful giver of my time, energy and resources to that group. I'm tired of feeling constantly like I'm in sin because of my frustration and the encroaching bitterness that seems ever ready to take hold of me." Of course, there are situations to which this logic doesn't apply. Many relationships can't be just cut off because we're frustrated with them (like with one's children!). That decision was a difficult one to make but I had peace in it because of the clear directive in the aforementioned scripture.
It's so sad that humans just can't seem to get along.
And yet, it simply reminds us of our need to look to God to be our sufficiency--not a ministry, not a leader, not a peer group. I think that's why cults can be so successful. They claim that their specific group will meet one's needs and wants completely. Some people want that claim to be true so badly that they'll give up virtually everything to obtain the hollow promise of completion.
Even people in the Church can be guilty of this. If I claim that my group is the group, then my focus is going to be on the group instead of God and disappointment is inevitable. It's just another form of idolatry.
Oh, by the way...I'm desperately trying not to be hurt by the fact that only one person I memed responded by actually spilling 7 facts about themselves! (Thank you, Andrea :) Okay, so maybe I'm not deeply hurt, but I am a little disappointed. :( All I wanted were a few random facts about my friends...sigh
Recently, I ran into a woman whom I haven't seen for years and years. Apparently, she felt pretty hurt by members of the Church in the past ten years or so and no longer even considers herself a part of the Church. She says she still believes in Jesus, but won't call herself a Christian. I don't know who is on her "list of hurters" (maybe I'm on it!), so I have no context by which to evaluate the authenticity of her grievances. However, I don't think that should be the point. When we hear about Christians doing un-Christ-like things, don't we automatically either assume that they aren't being represented fairly OR assume that they're just lousy Christians? It's one extreme or the other, but it probably shouldn't be. There are most likely sins on both sides of the conflict.
I'm a human fraught with faults and weaknesses and skewed perceptions. I'm far too sensitive and I'm ALWAYS thinking about myself. I'm a mess and I'm constantly dealing with other people who are messes as well. There have been a number of times that I've been tempted to withdraw from social groups because I was tired of feeling hurt on a regular basis. I'm not suggesting that withdrawal is never a good option, but we need to think rationally and pray things through, asking God to show us if we're making decisions based on our feelings or if they're actually wise decisions.
There are relational problems wherever there are relationships. It's more obvious out in the World, but we're liars if we say things are perfect in the Church. Congregants get mad at each other as do top leaders in ministries.
I don't like to make claims that I can't substantiate on the spot, so I'll inform you ahead of time that I don't have actual statistics for the following statement, (although I heard it from what I deem a credible source)-- Most missionaries who return early from the field due to relational problems didn't have the problems with the non-believers to whom they were ministering, but rather they had the problems with the other missionaries alongside whom they were ministering. I know there are A LOT of people who work very well together, but there are also a lot who really don't.
What is the standard by which we determine who is in the right and who is in the wrong? We all have varying codes of conduct. I may think of myself as being direct, but someone else labels me as rude. I might find someone's attempt at humor tasteless, but they think they're downright hilarious. Perhaps my attempt at being compassionate is perceived as blatant condescension. I think it's incredibly important to remember this when we find ourselves feeling hurt. When things aren't clear, assume the best in others. "Love is not provoked". (1 Cor. 13:5)
Of course, actual wrongdoing does occur. Jesus tells us how to deal with this in Matthew 18:15-17.
Once, I was tired of the frustrations I felt in a certain social group and after much prayer and even some fasting, I decided to curtail my interaction with the group. I knew that 1 Cor. 9:7 said, " ... let each one give as he purposes in his heart, not grudgingly or of necessity, for God loves a cheerful giver." My prevailing thought as I made the decision to limit my involvement with the group was, "I'm not a cheerful giver of my time, energy and resources to that group. I'm tired of feeling constantly like I'm in sin because of my frustration and the encroaching bitterness that seems ever ready to take hold of me." Of course, there are situations to which this logic doesn't apply. Many relationships can't be just cut off because we're frustrated with them (like with one's children!). That decision was a difficult one to make but I had peace in it because of the clear directive in the aforementioned scripture.
It's so sad that humans just can't seem to get along.
And yet, it simply reminds us of our need to look to God to be our sufficiency--not a ministry, not a leader, not a peer group. I think that's why cults can be so successful. They claim that their specific group will meet one's needs and wants completely. Some people want that claim to be true so badly that they'll give up virtually everything to obtain the hollow promise of completion.
Even people in the Church can be guilty of this. If I claim that my group is the group, then my focus is going to be on the group instead of God and disappointment is inevitable. It's just another form of idolatry.
Oh, by the way...I'm desperately trying not to be hurt by the fact that only one person I memed responded by actually spilling 7 facts about themselves! (Thank you, Andrea :) Okay, so maybe I'm not deeply hurt, but I am a little disappointed. :( All I wanted were a few random facts about my friends...sigh
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