Day 7

This was kind of a sad day (for spoiled babies such as ourselves) because we all knew it was the last real day of vacation.

We drove to Seattle and met up with my cousin, Devon, at the Washington Park Arboretum.

Here she is with her cute little kidlets:


The arboretum was fantastic! I'd love to spend hours there walking all the different woodsy trails. As it was, the one trail we did take went past a lovely pond, full of lily pads.


Soon it was lunch time and we drove to Lucy's house. She's an old friend who served as our tour guide for the day. Here she is with the Blue Angels flying in the background:


The first place she navigated us to was Paseo, a Cuban sandwich shop in the Fremont area. It doesn't look like much, practically just a corrugated steel shack, but we soon found out why there was a huge line of people queuing up out front.


We told Lucy we'd buy her meal, so imagine our horror when we finally got to the front of the massive line and discovered that it is a cash-only eatery. There are few things more embarrassing than offering to buy someone lunch and then having to borrow money from them to pay for it. However, we soon found an ATM and made things right.

Jeff got the Midnight Cuban Press sandwich. After a couple of bites, he declared it the best sandwich he'd ever eaten. My Cuban Roast was amazing as well, but I must warn you, these are five-napkin-sandwiches. In fact, I couldn't take any photos of them while eating for fear of ruining my camera with the marinated gloriousness that was dripping off my hands.

After the mop up, we took a stroll down Troll Ave.


It's under the Aurora Bridge and if you walk its length to the north end, you'll meet this guy:


Tobias risks life and limb to investigate:

(See the car he's gripping in his left hand? It's a real VW Bug.)

Delaney shares a secret with her new friend:


Our family doesn't like to visit any major metropolitan area without sniffing out the local chocolatier, so Lucy directed us here:


Wow...this place is amazing! Unfortunately, all the tours for the day were full (I would have LOVED to watch one of my favorite substances go through its formation process, although I may have fallen into the chocolate river and gotten sucked up some pipe like Augustus Gloop), however, the show room made up for any disappointment. It was dazzling.

Little tables with HUGE PILES OF SAMPLES of every flavor were scattered around the room.

Imagine me circling this thing like a shark...


...and then going in for the kill...

...over and over again.

Yes, I must confess that I had more than one sample of many of these delectables, but we did buy a bag full of the goods before we left and, believe me, each bar cost more than a Hershey bar.

The Chai Tea was my favorite.

Next we went down to the Seattle Center to stare up at the Space Needle.


It costs about $17 per person to ride the elevator up to the top, so we forewent that pleasure, consoling ourselves with the fact that we had a bag o' chocolate.

It was getting late and we needed to get to Portland for the night, so we said goodbye to Lucy and hopped on the freeway. Look at the beauty that surrounds one even on a Washingtonian freeway:


The creepiest part of our entire trip was when we saw this guy:

He kept staring and staring at us. (Click on the photo to enlarge it for the fully unnerving effect.)

It was so freaky, my heart was racing until Tobias declared, "It's a mask!"

I breathed a sigh of relief and began to giggle as I grabbed my camera. By the way, his hat says, "I heart Bingo." :) What a delightfully entertaining weirdo.

I won't bother to detail Day 8 since it just involved us awakening at 4:00 AM to catch our plane home and that's about it.

All in all, this was my all-time favorite vacation. The beauty was nearly overwhelming and the time with all of our friends was fabulous.

So when I got home and again saw our shower that has needed to be replaced for two years (Jeff is seen here doing some of the demolition work)...


...I had to concede that I'm glad we spent the money we had on the trip instead of fixing the shower. Our kids will only be with us to make beautiful memories for a few more years and we do have another shower so it's not like we're all stinking in the meantime.

*Sigh*

I heart Washington.

Donuts. Grrrr....

I think donuts are evil.

Kind of.

Okay, I realize how ridiculously dramatic that reads. It's not that I abhor donuts themselves.

After all, who can't appreciate an old fashioned buttermilk with its slightly tangy softness or the delicate, moist hollows of a french cruller?

I can. Oh yes, I can.

*drip, drip*

It's just that I detest what donuts represent.

My beloved yet very anal husband can not think of donuts as anything other than a breakfast food. (If he has something a certain way in his mind, good luck getting him to think otherwise. This is a guy who can only eat mac and cheese with a spoon if it's served in a bowl, but if it's on a plate, he requires a fork. No, really.) So, it's not possible for us to go to a donut shop after 11:30 am.

That's where my problem with donuts really is.

I mean if you start your day with 15 grams of fat and 22 grams of sugar (we're talking apple fritter here) then what on earth are you going to end your day with? A tub of Crisco and a bottle of Karo syrup?

On the rare occasions that I have started my day with a donut, I felt like I was somehow giving up on my entire day, like I should have just stayed in my pjs (or dressed in sweats at the very most) and watched TV all day, occasionally yelling at my kids, "Shut up, I can't hear Jerry!"

However...

...I promise not to give you the evil eye if I ever see you toting a big pink box early in the morning.

...and please don't cram the rest of your maple bar down your throat at my unexpected approach.

...and please don't mention this post if you ever see me with a few rainbow sprinkles clinging to my lower lip.



Okay?

Okay.

Multiple Choice

Of what is this a picture?





A. A man sitting by a wall

B. A man wearing a large hat

C. A man scraping away old paint

D. A major aphrodisiac for the woman who is co-owner of the house which is about to be painted









The correct answer is:

E. All of the above

:)

The Big Reveal?

I know some of you are dying to hear all about where the surprise vacation took us this year, so...

*dramatic clearing of the throat*

...we flew to Moscow on the 14th and ate black bread and borscht with Anastasia, the disputed daughter of the former Czar. This was after the KGB tried to recruit our entire family to work for them since we're all fluent in Russian (and who would suspect cute little Delaney of espionage?) but unfortunately I dropped my camera into the Black Sea during the cruise portion of the trip so you'll all just have to believe me that it was the best vacation ever!

*Ahem*

Okay, the truth is...

...we haven't gone yet. (Thus the question mark in this post's title.)

Another truth is that Delaney's passport has not arrived yet. Rong Aid really screwed things up by supplying us with crummy photos for our expensive and highly official documents. That drug store bungle pushed us back a couple of weeks or more, thus we wait. However, Jeff will vouch for me that I'm surprisingly calm about our youngest's lack of a passport even as our day of departure edges ever closer.

What means this inexplicable sense of serenity and quiescence in a woman who frets over lost 45 cent coupons?

Well, it could mean that our passport-applying-trip to the PO was simply an elaborate hoax that I cooked up with a very cooperative gal who works there.

Or it could mean something else.

In the meantime, I'm loving this opportunity to mess with Jeff's head. He doesn't know which way is up, poor-soon-to-be-vacationing-schmuck. (Yes, he was familiar with my sadistic side prior to proposing that we spend the rest of our lives together. He's okay with it, really.)

In other news:
The kids both have great roles in another theatrical production. :) It's a simplified version of Alice in Wonderland and all the players are 18 or younger.

Tobias will be playing the Mad Hatter...

...and Delaney is preparing for the part of Tweedle-Dee.


I can hardly wait to see their costumes. :)

Both kids have several lines and some solo parts in a couple of songs, so it's all quite fun. They're both enjoying themselves considerably except for that Tobias fears some of the choreography brings his orientation into question.

I told him, "Hey, at least you're not pirouetting while donning leggings like you did in Camelot." (Small comfort for a 15 year old boy, I'm afraid.)

The whole production is shaping up quite nicely. Some of the shows they've been in, I've been able to highly recommend and others I've realistically regarded as enjoyable because my babies are in it and for little else. This one looks like it will be in the former category, so if any of you who have kids want info then please contact me privately. (I don't like to publish specifics like city names or even our last name in such a public forum.)

Speaking of anonymous cities:
A few days ago we drove to a restaurant to sample their pizza. We had heard it touted as the best ever and that got Jeff salivating, so we all hopped into the car. Our drive took us to a scary looking dive in the ghetto.

But not just any ghetto, Friends.

This ghetto was the one and only ghetto in which my beloved husband grew up!

The kids and I were treated to a personal tour as we cruised the streets.

"That's the alley where I got hit by a car."

"That's where I got punched in the throat."

"That's the corner where I got offered drugs for the first time."

"That's the park where some guy chased me 'cause he wanted to steal my bike."

"That's the hill I stood on and B.A.ed all the cars on the freeway."

"Right in front of that church is where some guy punched me and ran off with my skateboard."

I didn't know whether to cry or laugh, but Jeff was relaying all the information in a rather cheerful manner, so I opted for laughter. I'm just so thankful he survived his childhood in the 'hood. It sounds like it was rather touch and go for a while there.

Back to the topic that seems to be constantly niggling some of you poor souls:
Keep checking back because it won't be too long before the genuine big reveal occurs. I'm actually a bit worried that all this build up will result in a bit of a flop in everyone's minds. The real vacation might seem a bit anti-climactic, so I apologize profusely in advance. For those of you who want to be surprised, leave this site now. For those of you who just can't take it anymore, scroll down to be put out of your misery...
































Did you really fall for that?

*Abundant scoffs and tsks*

The Horrific, Yet Minty Fresh, Phantasm

Okay, so last night I dreamt that we signed up for this service where someone would come into your room each night as you slept and leave a piece of candy or a quarter under your pillow so that when you awoke in the morning you'd have a little treat waiting for you. It was like the tooth fairy, but every night and no tooth required, just a credit card number. (Like I'd ever opt for such a thing.)

We were warned not to be startled if we ever woke up when the goody deliverer was in our room because, after all, it's just the "treat guy".

Well, in my dream, I awoke in the middle of the night to see this man (wearing a tie, no-less), bending over me, trying to stuff a mint under my pillow.

I screamed so loudly and shrilly that I woke myself up. (You know, to real reality). It wasn't a 'Hey, knock it off' kind of a scream. Jeff later described it as sounding as if I'd just found a dead child. :(

Poor Jeff was tripping out. "What's going on? Wake up! Are you okay?"

I mumbled something about a guy with a mint as all the dogs in the neighborhood barked frenetically outside our open window.

My first clear thought was, "Delaney probably thinks I'm being murdered!" so I jumped into my robe and ran down the hallway, calling, "Everything's okay, Honey!" I threw open her door and the hall's light fell across her face, revealing shuttered eyes and a lax mouth. Yeah, she was sawing some serious logs.

(Tobias is at camp this week, so I wasn't concerned about him.)

I went back to bed and laid there with my heart racing for about five minutes as I listened for the sirens of approaching cop cars. What would I say if questioned?

"No, Officer, there was no home invasion, I was just scared of the business-man-tooth-fairy-guy."

I never did find the mint...

Enamored with Growth

Things are actually growing in my garden!

I'll say it again since this is pretty much a first in my horticulturally-frustrated life:

THINGS ARE ACTUALLY GROWING IN MY GARDEN!

Look at this plot. It's positively over-run by fruit-bearing foliage:


(That's Bruiser's orange tail, in case you were wondering.)

See the dark swath just to the right of the center in the photo below? That's the "walkway" between the westerly snow pea plants and the easterly everything else. I think I'll need a machete to retrieve the tomatoes once they're ripe.


We've been enjoying the pea pods for a few weeks now. They start out as these pretty little white flowers:


And grow into these green iciclish looking things:


(I must confess that I was a little disappointed when I ate my first pea pod. The name of the kind we planted was "Melting Sugar", but I guess I was kind of dumb for expecting it to taste like some confection. It's definitely a veggie. :) )

This little alien look alike is swelling with culinary potential.


Watch your back, Buddy.

I'm genuinely in awe of God's creativeness in my back yard.

Check out this massive cuke:


Here's one of its baby siblings:


Isn't it cute? The yellow flower at the end will dry up and fall off and the bumpy column above will continue to grow and grow until I snap its umbilicus. I sound like some sort of a monster, don't I?

And just because it was here when I sat down at the computer desk to download the garden pics, here's one of Delaney's many doodles:


It's hard to be irritated with the multiple paper scraps she leaves around the house when they're decorated with her adorable handiwork.

It's the little things...

:)

A Plea for Help

Can someone please convince my teenage son that although the existence of hair bristling out of his neck does announce to the world that his physique is coursing with newly brewed testosterone, it's also quite...

...disgusting?

After reading the above sentence to Tobias (I always run potentially embarrassing things past my family before they get posted on the blog), he informed me that he already knows it's disgusting, but he wants to see how long it can get.

So I guess his throat is festering with a biological experiment of sorts.

I fear there may be social ramifications.

Post O' Gripes

Aarrgh...

Various branches of the government and a drug store have irked me lately, so if you don't feel like reading a whining rant, this is not the site for you.

I got a letter from the State Department today saying that Delaney's passport photos are overexposed and therefore can't be used. I need to have more pics taken, acceptable ones, and send them back in. How delayed is her passport's arrival going to be now?

Within moments of receiving the slightly distressing letter, Delaney and I were in the car and on our way to the drug store where the unacceptable photos were taken. I cheerfully asked to see the manager and was told that I was speaking with the acting manager (who also happened to be the lady who took the lousy photos a couple of weeks ago.

"Yeah, this is really going to go somewhere..." I thought.)

I calmly explained the situation and asked for a refund on the photos. I then asked if there was something they could do to the camera to keep this from happening again.

"No, it's because of the white background. They're so picky at the passport department."

Another worker leaned in to glance at they crappy photo they'd taken.

"Yeah, they're so picky," she said.

I somehow managed not to roll my eyes.

You know, they really oughtn't advertise the service of passport-photo-taking if the resulting pics are useless for passports. If you know the State Department is picky and likely to reject the photos you produce then do us all a favor and stop offering the service. I didn't stick around to explain that their incompetent camera might be jeopardizing my family's summer vacation; I had some proper photos to obtain.

Off we went to CostInc and voila!


I'm so thankful I was able to get it all taken care of today, but it won't be in the mail until Monday. Good thing I started this whole process as early as I did.

But this...this is the truly exacerbating tale. Read on:

So, a couple of weeks ago I received a check in the mail, a very large check that declared itself to be a tax refund.

I was thrilled for about three seconds before reality set in and I realized that a very unfortunate mistake had been made. There was no way that money belonged to us and I certainly didn't want to get a bill several months later when they figured out that their accounting totally sucks.

I dreaded calling the accompanying phone number, but knew it had to be done. After being on hold for a combined total of about 45 minutes, Naomi informed me that what I had already informed her about was true: They had made a mathematical error which resulted in the cruel tease of a ginormous check. She told me to watch my mailbox for instructions on what to do next.

They arrived a few days later in the form of a letter.

There was no "Thank you for your honesty, attentiveness and good citizenship", just a threat that if I didn't pay them back in 30 days they'd start charging me interest on the money they incorrectly sent to me. I laughed out loud at that. Do you think they'll reimburse me for the postage?

Yeah, me neither.

Lovin' the Lite Stuff

(No, Jeff's portion was not laced with anything.)

And She's Twelve

It's official. I'm no longer the mother of small children. This month, my youngest turned 12 and 'graduated' from elementary school. Is there a support group for this kind of thing?

Actually, I'm pretty okay with it. I know a lot of moms mourn the advancements of their children because it means their babies aren't the same adorable little people that they once were. However, I've never been that way. I'm just glad to see that they are growing and developing into the adults that God intends for them to be.

So...I'm not sad, but I do confess that it's all a little weird 'cause time is flying!

We started Delaney's special day with one of her favorite treats:


Look, she really loves Oro Blanco grapefruits, okay? She will seriously eat three or more a day if we let her.

She did eventually get a cake:


(It didn't turn out quite as cute as I had hoped, but it's alright. That's a fruit roll-up tongue, in case you're wondering.)

We played a game at her party that I absolutely love. It's sort of like a game of Telephone but with drawings instead of whisperings.

It's called Mixed Messages and it works like this: You make little booklets of blank paper and hand one to each partier. Sitting in a large circle, everyone writes a sentence or phrase on the front page and then they all pass their booklets one person to the right.


The next person silently reads the sentence or phrase, turns the page and draws out what they just read.


Now, everyone passes the booklets one person to the right again. The third person to hold the booklet does NOT turn back the pages to read the original sentence/phrase, but only looks at the second person's drawing and tries to determine what is taking place in it. Then they write out what they think that is. (Is this confusing enough for you? So terribly sorry. It really is a FUN game.)


The booklets are again passed one person to the right and the fourth person does NOT look at the original sentence nor at the first drawing, but creates their own drawing based on the third person's sentence.


(Obviously, some people are going to draw better pictures than others. We had three amazing artists at Delaney's party: Delaney, Jeff and this fabulous girl named McKenna. Of course, good artists make this game more fun, but even weak links such as myself enjoy themselves.)

So on and so forth, the booklets keep getting passed one to the right and added to with only the previous addition as each person's guide. This booklet continued like so:


(The spelling of some entries can get you giggling, too.)


(This artist mistook the misspelled "geyser" for a "guitar".)


(Consequently, the hippo was mistaken for a beaver so the next artist drew that.)


(I love the worried look on the beaver's face.)

Once all the pages are filled, you get to read through the whole booklet and then pass it around for others to guffaw over.

So you see, the "hippo in the tree" morphed into "a beaver who is lamenting the presence of a guitar in his rectum". (Sorry, if you're offended by that. Some of us base creatures think this kind of stuff is hilarious. :))

Okay, here's another complete example without my annoying commentary running through the whole thing.













Anyway, some booklets end up way more funny than others. I hope at least some of you will benefit from this convoluted explanation of one of the most amusing games I've ever played.

More Sneakery Afoot

I'm glad you guys enjoyed my 'syrup'titious post in which I 'came out of the pantry'. Your response was so positive that I wondered if I should end on a high note by hanging up my keyboard and retiring my blog. :)

By the way, when Tobias finally read it, he said, "What!?!?! Now I have to try the real stuff to see what I've been missing out on all these years!"

Anyway, I've been up to yet more clandestine behavior. Many of you know that each year I plan a surprise vacation for Jeff, Tobias and Delaney, meaning that they have no idea where we're going, who we're going to see nor what we're going to do. This year is no exception.

Oh, before you ask me to let you in on the secret, don't bother 'cause I won't tell you. I don't mean to sound snotty, but last year a well-meaning person almost asked Jeff "How was Oregon?" before Oregon was. She stopped herself at the last second and told me about it later. That incident and a couple of other near cat-out-of-the-bag moments convinced me that loose lips sink surprise vacations, so now the info is on a need to know basis. Sorry. Keep tuning in and you'll know soon enough.

Back to the stealthy stuff...as I'm going through the process of planning the vacation, I do things to cover my tracks. For example, I will intentionally leave open windows on the computer with info on places we are not going so that if a family member happens upon it, they think, "Ahhh...maybe we're going to such-and-such-a-place this year." It seems that each year, Tobias is convinced that he has figured things out, but he's always been wrong. *giggle*

Last week, I took the kids to the drug store and had some passport photos taken. Here are the results:


Delaney looks rather skeptical. Tobias's is a nice change from his last passport photo which you will laugh at below:


Yes, we've gotten quite a few giggles out of that one over the years. You tell a ten year old kid to make sure he keeps his eyes open and that's what you get.

Yesterday, we all piled in the car and went to the post office. As soon as Jeff found out that we were there to apply for the kids' passports, he started flipping out.

"You mean we're leaving the country for vacation this year?"

My lips remained sealed.

So the question is: Will we soon be traveling internationally?

OR

Was I just getting the kids passports to have on hand for future mission trips?

OR

Was our outing yesterday just an elaborate hoax that I cooked up with some gal at the post office?

Only time will tell...

'cause I sure ain't gonna!