I nearly got hit by a car recently.
I don’t mean that a sedan almost crumpled my car's back left door.
I mean a huge SUV almost plowed into me--my vulnerable,
slightly-squishy, 5' 4", endoskeletal self.
Some lady was steaming along at
maybe-I-can-make-a-Starbucks-run-and-still-make-it-to-work-on-time speed, slowed slightly as she approached a stop sign, whipped her
head around (looking for other cars, I presume) and gunned it. Meanwhile, I was jogging up to the crosswalk next to said stop sign at my I-hate-this-but-I-love-chocolate-cake-so-I'd-better-keep-stumbling-on speed. I was just inches from her hurtling-through-space passenger door.
Yeah, it was pretty close. If I was
talented and quick enough, I could have done a blow fish on her
window.
(Not me in the photo, in case you were wondering. I don't possess such pneumatic skills, nor am I a dude.)
She never did see me.
So what saved my pre-carcass from getting smashed into a bodiless spirit?
One thing and one thing only...
...my awareness.
My fellow joggers know what I’m talking about.
You see, there are people driving cars all over our cities who are NOT looking out for us. Can I hear an amen from the running crew?
It's not that they're trying to kill, maim and smash us. It's just that their minds are on other things. You know, things like how they haven't had a bowl of chili yet this season, or how they'd really like to replace their doorbell. These things are not of much consequence but they're enough to distract drivers from paying proper attention at the wheel.
So, as a jogger I've learned to watch out for myself. I slow down at intersections or even stop and wait even though the ol' Garmin is ticking away.
Let me ask you: Whose fault would it be if that lady had slammed into me throwing me thirty feet or if she had rolled over me with one of those $250 tires?
Hers, of course.
However, who would be the worse off for it?
Duh...me.
That's why I'm aware: not because I don't want to be at fault but because I don't want to be injured or, you know, dead.
All of this is true, however the real reason I'm bothering to type about it is to give myself a proper intro for a different topic...
You see, I recently read an article which implied that telling people to avoid certain situations where they might be sexually abused is the equivalent to blaming them if they are victimized.
For example: To tell a provocatively dressed young woman not to walk down a dark alley is the same as telling her that she deserves any abuse she might suffer while doing so.
I ask you: Whose fault would it be if she was raped?
The rapist's, clearly.
But, who would be worse off for it?
Obviously, her.
Please don't misunderstand me. Any person who is preyed upon should feel no guilt and I certainly don't want to make any excuse for predators, nor give them any leeway to ply their evil. They should be prosecuted and punished for any crime they commit and hindered extensively from committing more. Unfortunately though, that is all after the cruel reality of whatever happened.
So I think a better question than "Who is at fault?" is "How can this be prevented in the first place?"
The fact is that encouraging people to be aware and to avoid dangerous situations will keep some abuse and crimes from occurring. Unlike distracted drivers, sexual predators are aiming to harm others. Why wouldn't we warn people to be on the look-out and avoid them?
I understand that there's a slope here that we don't want our society to slide down. Some cultures declare people who are sexually attractive as dangers and force them to cover themselves from head-to-toe or require them to only go out into society with a "proper" escort. These social norms grew out of a very twisted and hyped-up version of "We don't want people to be victimized". Still, swinging so grossly in the other direction and calling it "not making the victim feel blamed" is seriously flawed, as well.
All of that to say: Be aware. Avoid danger.
All of this is true, however the real reason I'm bothering to type about it is to give myself a proper intro for a different topic...
You see, I recently read an article which implied that telling people to avoid certain situations where they might be sexually abused is the equivalent to blaming them if they are victimized.
For example: To tell a provocatively dressed young woman not to walk down a dark alley is the same as telling her that she deserves any abuse she might suffer while doing so.
I ask you: Whose fault would it be if she was raped?
The rapist's, clearly.
But, who would be worse off for it?
Obviously, her.
Please don't misunderstand me. Any person who is preyed upon should feel no guilt and I certainly don't want to make any excuse for predators, nor give them any leeway to ply their evil. They should be prosecuted and punished for any crime they commit and hindered extensively from committing more. Unfortunately though, that is all after the cruel reality of whatever happened.
So I think a better question than "Who is at fault?" is "How can this be prevented in the first place?"
The fact is that encouraging people to be aware and to avoid dangerous situations will keep some abuse and crimes from occurring. Unlike distracted drivers, sexual predators are aiming to harm others. Why wouldn't we warn people to be on the look-out and avoid them?
I understand that there's a slope here that we don't want our society to slide down. Some cultures declare people who are sexually attractive as dangers and force them to cover themselves from head-to-toe or require them to only go out into society with a "proper" escort. These social norms grew out of a very twisted and hyped-up version of "We don't want people to be victimized". Still, swinging so grossly in the other direction and calling it "not making the victim feel blamed" is seriously flawed, as well.
All of that to say: Be aware. Avoid danger.
