The Mental Complexities of Grocery Shopping

I finally did it!

It seems that the gals at the deli counter at my local supermarket often don't hear me when I ask for a half of a pound of whatever lunch meat I'm wanting to purchase. About half of the time they slice up a whole pound, throw it in a bag and pass it across the counter to me while asking if I want anything else. Usually, I meekly accept the extra half pound of unwanted meat and stumble away, nursing the beginnings of an identity crisis: Am I a kind-hearted soul who doesn't want to draw attention to the glaring negligence of a supermarket worker OR am I merely a coward who needs to figure out what casserole I'm going to toss the excess meat into to justify it's existence in my cart? Well, we all know the answer to that question, but moving right along...

...today, I finally did it! When "Maggie" asked what I wanted, I very clearly enunciated each syllable as I stated, "I'd like a half of a pound of Virginia Ham, please." This statement was followed by a sincere smile (probably a smile of friendliness in her mind, but really a smile of hopefulness in mine). Well, you guessed it, a mere moment later I saw her heaving a foot high pile of pink slices on to the scale.

Apparently, all the years of keeping mum and spending money on meat that I had no intention of feeding my family finally came to a head.

"Oh, I just wanted half a pound," I blurted out.

"Oh, sorry," Maggie replied, skimming the top half of the pile off and tossing it aside. "Would you like anything else?"

Yes, it was that easy! And as pathetic as it sounds, I'm planning on doing it again next week, uh, I mean next time it happens.

On the heels of this minor victory, I continued my exercise in commerce over in the produce section where yet another test of my character awaited me.

I approached the bags of grapes with caution, barely resisting the urge to glance around to see who might witness my possible breach in propriety.

You see, I hate buying a whole big bag of grapes without tasting one because sometimes they are quite tasteless and who wants to discover that in their own kitchen, $4.00 poorer? Why not sample one in an air-conditioned oasis while bad music spills out of the speakers above, possibly saving yourself from a pointless purchase?

However, the angel on my shoulder asked, "Would you sample an apple in the same manner? What about an orange?" Of course, the answer was No.

So there I stood, staring at the bags of little purple orbs, willing my taste buds to somehow sense the delectability of the fruits without actually doing their intended job.

Sometimes I buy some and sometimes I don't. Today I did, but I have yet to try them. This story is not to be continued.

On another note...

The musical rehearsals that have taken over our lives are going well. Tobias makes a great sailor and Delaney is a lovely seahorse. If any of you want to come see it, let me know and I'll tell you the show times and ticket prices.

...AND...Jeff's leg has pretty much healed, though I believe it is scarred for life.