A Sandwich from the Past

Jo asked if Tobias actually likes bologna. (See previous post.) No, he doesn't, but that hasn't always been the case...


One day, when Tobias was in first or second grade, he came home and announced that he had eaten a delicious sandwich at school that day.

He didn't normally rave about the PBJs that I packed him, so I was a little confused.

"What do you mean?" I queried.

"I ate this sandwich that had soft, pink meat in it," he replied with a dreamy, contented look in his eyes.

I felt my stomach lurch. What was he talking about? Where had he gotten this sandwich and what exactly was it that was now digesting in his belly?

Carefully, I steadied my voice and began to ask my many questions.

After a while of listening to his little-kid answers, I ascertained that in the lunch area there was a table that the yard duties had designated for unwanted lunch items. Considering the picky appetites of so many children, you can only imagine how high the stack of rejected edibles must have been on any given day. Other kids were free to peruse the goods and take what they wanted.

Who knows how long Tobias had been helping himself to this Cornucopia of the Abandoned. (He probably got the same thrill that I get as I pick over the 50% off section at Fresh and Easy. Yippee!)

Anyway, deducing that the "soft, pink meat" was probably bologna (ugh...full body shiver), I told him what bologna was made of. Additionally, I forbade him from taking anything from the Table of Plenty that was not factory sealed, explaining that the maker of that sandwich may have been picking their nose while they did so (although, that might not make a bologna sandwich any worse than it already is--sorry, Oscar Meyer).

Bologna has been a source of amusement in our lives ever since and on Tobias' birthday, the sandwich that Delaney gave him fulfilled its role as a birthday prank and was then eaten...

...by Bruiser.