The Shunned Ground Beef and Other Questionable Good Deeds

I went to the bank yesterday. Just as I climbed out of my car, I noticed a homeless guy next to the bank's door.

He wasn't standing, looking as if he was about to walk away. He was sitting there, leaning up against a pillar looking about as comfortable as a person can when their back is pressed up against bumpy stucco.

Hoping I looked unstartled and natural, I walked toward the grocery store in the same lot although I originally had no plans of going there.

I've encountered this particular man before. He asked for money then. I bought him an ice cream instead.

Sitting outside of a bank is a pretty good idea if money is what you want. You know that people either have money when they're going in or they're going to when they come out.

Jeff and I decided long ago that we wouldn't hand out money to people who ask for it since we don't want to fund anyone's drug or drink addiction. However, we usually offer food to them since we hate the idea of a person's basic needs not being met.

We've bought a lot of hamburgers over the years.

Years ago, when I was in college, Jeff and I emerged from the grocery store to be accosted by a man who asked us for cash. He launched into a story about how his kids were hungry and he needed just enough money to buy some ground beef for their dinner.

It just so happened that the market was having a sale on ground beef that day and I had bought three individual packets of it. Reaching into one of my bags, I pulled one out and handed it to the man.

The look on his face was priceless. It was clear that he wouldn't be using the hungry kids/ground beef story again. I practically had to force it on him.

Amused, Jeff said, "You'd better get home and cook that up before it goes bad on you." (Hey, we don't normally laugh at those who are less fortunate than us, but when we catch them in their own lie, it's kind of hard not to.)

A few months ago, I was coming out of a grocery store that I don't usually shop at and I was approached by a young man who actually asked for food instead of money. I told him to meet me over at Jack in the Box on the corner and I'd get him something. He ran off to "tell his brother" and I continued toward my car with my bags of groceries.

Once I got to my car, another guy shuffled up to me and asked for some money. He was a lot older and scraggly looking. I told him that I'd buy him a burger and to meet me over at Jack in the Box. Then I quickly got into my car, wondering how many more people were eyeing me from around the parking lot.

(Here's where I must tell you that although I am genuinely glad to feed a hungry person, I'm quite intimidated by panhandlers. They're usually men and even though they may have missed a few meals and slept poorly the night before, they could probably still floor me with one blow. I really hate it when I take out my wallet to pay for their meal and they can see a couple of twenties peeking out. For all I know, they're just scoping me out so that they can grab my bag later. Therefore, I do try to be wise about 'helping' them and not compromise my own safety.)

So...as I drove my car over to JITB, I decided to just go through the drive-through and hand them their bags of food out of my car window. Once I ordered the food, I was told to pull around to the parking lot and that it'd be brought out to me when it was ready. From where I parked, I could see Old-Timer inside the restaurant, waiting for me to show up. He waited several minutes and then erupted out the front door, loudly complaining, '"That #$@&* said she was gonna buy me a burger!"

Just as he finished spewing that forth, he looked up and saw me, sitting there with my window down. His face fell.

I'd like to say that my response was, "It's on it's way, Sir" complete with a sweet smile, but...

...I'm not a liar.

What I actually said was something like, "I'm the #$@&* who said she'd buy you a burger and if you stick around, you just might get it."

(Yes, well, not one of my finer moments...)

I instantly regretted it.

Poor guy. He looked so embarrassed by his actions and my reaction.

I understand that he was grossly disappointed. He had been told he was getting some lunch that day and then after waiting several fruitless minutes, he assumed he'd been lied to and that his stomach would remain empty.

When the food finally came, he humbly thanked me several times. In the meantime, the original food-wanter showed up with his brother and burgers were had by all as I drove away cringing and repenting.

By far, the weirdest panhandling experience I had was at the dentist's office. Sitting in the waiting room while one of my kids was getting worked on, I noticed a girl, about 12, come in and sit down. She didn't check in at the desk and she wasn't with an adult, all of which struck me as odd. Well, it was about to get very strange, indeed.

After a couple of moments, she made her way over to the seat next to me and sat down. Looking at me, she began to whisper.

"What?" I asked.

She whispered again.

"If you want me to hear you, you'll have to speak up."

A third time she began to speak to me, still very quietly. "Will you give me some money so that I can go to Radio Shack and buy something?"

Who was this girl, why was she at the dentist office and where were her parents???

Totally confused, I said something like, "No, if you were hungry, I'd get you something to eat, but I'm not going to give you money."

Understanding dawned on her face. "Well...I am hungry."

Right...

Not wanting to make a liar out of myself, I walked with her over to Jack in the Box (yep, the very same one) and bought her (you guessed it!) a hamburger. She said she wanted a soda, too, but my motherly sensibilities kicked in and I told her she could have milk or OJ if she was thirsty.

Looking back, I see how poorly I handled that whole situation. I taught a neglected girl that if she goes begging for money at a dentist office, she'll end up getting a free meal. Who knows how many creeps would take advantage of her odd, needy behavior. Yuck. (I found out later that she lived in an apartment right next to the dental office.)

All of this takes me back to the guy out in front of the bank yesterday. He was gone once I returned from my impromptu shopping trip.

When I told Jeff about what had happened, he said, "Why didn't you just buy him a sandwich at the market and then when you went into the bank and he asked for money, you could have pulled it out and said, 'Here you go!'?"

Hmmm...somehow that didn't occur to me. My brain seems to flip over and play dead whenever I'm getting hit up for money.

All of this is to say what exactly?

I'm not sure. I'm just thinking about needy people and what my response to them should be. I want to be helpful, but I also don't want to give them opportunity to harm me or themselves. I want to be kind but sometimes I end up fouling my normally hygenic mouth. I want to care for an odd preteen girl and afterward I fear that I've taught her to be too trusting of strangers.

It all makes me so thankful for God's grace and it's sufficiency. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

If I was trying to make my way to heaven through my own goodness, I might end up at Jack in the Box.