Martha Stewart Would Shudder

Some people are very particular about the decorations on their Christmas tree.

Not me...in fact, I learned today that my standards are below those of my children. (Well, in some cases.) As we broke open the box o' baubles and such, Tobias suggested we nominate certain ornaments to be tossed in the trash instead of onto the tree.

My one request was that when an item was nominated, it needed to be done so carefully and kindly since many of the ornaments were hand-crafted by others who were presently in the room. (Yes, yes, I know it's impossible to kindly declare that someone's handiwork should be treated as refuse, but I was striving for civility, okay?)

One of the first decorations to go was this one, described by Tobias as looking like a confused clown who is using his drum as a receptacle for bodily waste instead of as a percussion instrument:

(Yes, in case you're wondering, Tobias does have eyeballs.)

There were some ornaments that were quite aesthetically challenged, but they somehow wormed their way into our hearts over the years and we couldn't bear to face a Christmas without them, regardless of their freakishness or hideousness.

Take this shrinky dink "Santa's elf" for example:


Tobias made a whole bunch of these little gems when he was six and handed them out as gifts to all of our relatives. Miraculously, everyone managed to squeeze out a "thank you" when they unwrapped them. There was nary a scream nor a snort of laughter, though I can't recall ever seeing one hang on a tree except for ours in the ensuing years. Hmm...I wonder why...maybe because they look as if they're possessed and about to go postal in Santa's workshop?


(See what I mean?)

(Emergency update!!! Vindication of the grandparents: My father-in-law read this post and let me know that Tobias's "demonized elf" has been hung with care on their tree every year since it's presentation. Sorry if you felt maligned, my dear in-laws. :( )

This year, just as a few decorations were voted out, some things were voted in. Notice I said "things", not "ornaments". These are some of the objects which are presently decking our evergreen boughs to the delight of our truly odd children:



(The last one's a skeleton's forearm.)

Whatever.

It all looks positively festive if you take a blurry photo from ten feet away:


Happy Jesus' birthday everyone!