Learning and Celebrating

Jeff and I recently celebrated our 17th wedding anniversary.


As you can see, we were very young when we wed. Jeff proposed to me when I was 17 and I turned 19 just three weeks prior to the ceremony.

There are a lot of things that I would do differently about the wedding itself if I was getting married today. I would certainly pluck my eyebrows more thoroughly. I would do my hair and makeup differently. I'd make sure we had more than just a few crystal dishes of deluxe nuts and cake to feed our guests. (We actually ran out of cake. How embarrassing is that?)

However, the one most important aspect of the ceremony (to whom I was wed) I would not alter.

The thing that gave me confidence in marrying a 21 year old Jeff was his level of integrity. As I came to know him more and more, I had many opportunities to witness Jeff doing what he knew to be right, even if it was inconvenient or "unfun". I saw him consistently applying God's principles to his life regardless of his own desires. That assured me that he would be a good life partner.

Of course, being married isn't always easy. You have to learn how to live with another person who is likely as self-centered and frail as you are yourself.

Probably the most vital thing I've learned so far in marriage is that I'm not always right. (Yes, it came as a shock to me, as well.) As arrogant as it sounds, I honestly thought for the first few years of our post-nuptial existence that it was my job to reveal my rightness to Jeff so that he would agree and therefore join Team Right. Well, after a while, I realized that Jeff and I are very different, but that doesn't mean that one of us is right and one is wrong. We can have varying opinions and ways of doing things and that is actually healthy.

Probably the most valuable thing Jeff has learned so far is how to speak to me. For the first few years, he would often speak sarcastically. I felt belittled by his attempts at humor. He was just trying to be amusing and thought that he was succeeding, but after a while, he saw that he was the only one amused and that I was either irritated or hurt by his words. He has vastly improved on this front...thank God.

Although I wouldn't recommend getting married so young to most people, it has worked out very well for us.

We've learned how to not bounce checks together. We've learned how to communicate effectively. We've learned how to respect what the other values even if we don't quite get it. We've created and are raising two other human beings jointly. We've built a vast and influential financial empire together. (Okay, maybe not, but we did pay our car off a little early. :))

Anyway, we are learning and celebrating life together.

In the past month, we have been blessed to celebrate the marriages of other. In March, we watched as Teresa and Armin committed themselves to one another. (I stupidly forgot to take my camera to the ceremony.)

This Summer, we will witness Jennifer and Daniel promise to forsake all others and cleave unto one another:


Recently, we attended one of the most enjoyable weddings to which we've ever been. In the middle of the ceremony, the bride and groom led us all in a worship song, "Not to Us". It was beautiful and exemplified their focus on Christ.


(The groom was to the left, playing a cajon, but I couldn't get him in the shot.)

Both of these delightful people were raised in homes where they learned that if they noticed a need, they ought to try to fill it. Mandy and Christian serve God and others every chance they get.


(They look so young. It's hard to believe they're older than I was when I entered into matrimony.)

Let's lift our plastic glasses of Martinelli's to marriage...a peculiar yet marvelous institution.

*Tink*