In the Kitchen

Maybe I'll start a cooking blog.

Sure there are a ton of them out there already with their beautiful photos of lush produce and their step by step instructions on how to achieve culinary nirvana in a spotless kitchen while your beaming children stand by, eager to help in any way possible. You know you've seen them. In fact, you probably lurked about one hundred of them just last week.

Well, mine would be different.

Mine wouldn't leave you feeling like Roseanne Roseannadanna in the kitchen.


(Go ahead. Google her. Watch the skit in which she talks about bagging groceries.)

In fact, after focusing on a few lines of text and photos highlighting my own ineptitude in the kitchen, you may feel like Martha Stewart herself.

Okay, so I'm not genuinely motivated to start an entirely new blog based on cooking (though I think 'Culinarily Challenged' would be a fabulous title). Shoot, I hardly ever post on this blog. I'll just have to satisfy myself with the occasional post o' cookery right here.

Anyway, I recently decided to make a chicken pot pie as evidenced by this photo:


What? You don't know what the above 'thing' is? Why, it's a pie crust, Silly!

No, really. It is.


I worked long and hard to get it looking that good. I don't know what the deal is. I followed the directions and steamrolled the crud out of that blob of raw pastry with my cheap plastic rolling pin. Alas...

(Feeling better about yourself yet?)

Another source of frustration was that when I was finished rolling out the first crust, staring me in the face was this...


...the second half of my two crust recipe. I must confess, I came this close to dumping it in the trash because the thought of two aesthetic failures in one night is rather disheartening. However, I'm not a waster. (Well, okay, compared to someone like Ma Ingalls, I'm positively wanton.) So I just pushed the bowl aside and decided not to look at it for awhile.

With my ugly pie crust prepared, I was ready to somehow get it on top of the pie's contents:

Somehow I man-handled the fragile shell into place and was immediately inspired to poke a couple of words into the crust, a message to anyone who looked upon my offering with a dubious eye:

(In case you can't quite make it out, it says, "Edible, OK?")

...and it was.