For Christmas this year, I got some bits o' knowledge.
Sure, I'll share them with you:
#1--If three things you ordered online for your daughter don't arrive before the big day, simply wrap up some things for her that she's already seen a thousand times. As she opens each present, tell her, "This is not your gift." (Also, next year, order things online a bit earlier.)
#2--Don't assume that just because kids are in fifth grade that they no longer believe in Santa Claus. If you do assume this and begin to speak about the jolly old elf who flies through the air in a sled delivering toys to every single child on earth as a mythical being then you may get a few dirty looks from parents and a few confused looks from the children themselves. 'Twill not be the highlight of your holiday season.
And, finally, the pearl of greatest price in this season's oyster of wisdom--
#3--It's not a good idea to wrap gifts on your bedroom floor. When you do this, it's quite possible that hairs of ill-repute may somehow get stuck to the tape which you are using to fasten your wrapping paper, consequently horrifying anyone who comes into contact with the gift. Remember, Christmas presents aren't meant to unnerve and dismay their recipients, nor to shame and scandalize their givers.
Don't forget these vital lessons over the next eleven months, but do enjoy your recovery time.
Happy New Year!
3 comments:
Ha! All good points. Ya because we don't do Santa and my kids have never believed in him I forget and find that I frequently ruin innocent children's christmas surprises. Ooppssss.....
I always have to fight with the tape while wrapping my presents in hopes that my hair will not get stuck in it .. which it always does.. ugg haha :)
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