"Evil" Never Looked So Cute

Can you believe it? After auditioning for the upcoming theater production of AristoCats, this adorable, sweet, gentle, little girl was chosen to play...











...the evil butler!

What is especially ironic is that her nefarious deeds are committed against cats. (Delaney LOVES animals.)

As incongruous as it seems to be, she does an excellent job singing the villain's dastardly ditties, cackling maniacally and creeping around the stage. I think I'll proudly chuckle through all nine presentations.

BTW, no one called about Duncan, so I think it's safe to assume that we have a new little, wriggley member of our family. :)

The Day of Truth

Tonight, the "found" ad we put in the local paper will be published for all to read. I wouldn't feel right about not making some kind of an effort to find Duncan's former owners. (Is it wrong of me to hope they don't see the ad?)

The info we included was quite general so whoever calls will have to be able to answer certain questions correctly in order for us to accept that they did indeed lose Duncan. (Please, no one play a cruel joke on me by calling and pretending to be the former owners. It wouldn't be funny.)

I'm not one of those crazy dog fanatics who shares ice creams and baths with their canine "friends", but I must say that this little guy has stolen my heart. He's such a good little dog!

He neither whines nor barks too much. He has already learned to sit while waiting for his food to be served to him. He loves to fall asleep in your lap while you stroke his silky ears. He makes funny squeaky noises at various times. He isn't overly possessive of toys or food. The only thing that keeps him from being absolutely perfect is that he likes to chew on your hands and/or clothing, but he is a puppy after all!

Just look at him:


He's even cute from behind:

Will any one call and claim Duncan as their own? Will Aimee's heart be broken? Will Aimee and Jeff get reimbursed for Duncan's $104 veterinarian bill? Find out next time on As We Wend Our Way...

Bath Time

Tobias took a few pics while Duncan had his first bath.




Me and my girl:

She had a bit of a fever today, so she stayed home from school and we got to spend the day together.

I Thought You Went Out For Pizza

Yeah, that's what I said when Jeff came home with this:

Apparently, this dog can sniff out a sucker pretty well.

Jeff said that he and Tobias got out of the car at the pizza place and this little guy bounded right up to them, wanting to play. The people at the pizza place said that he'd been running around for a few hours. He had no collar, no tag and an obvious bite mark on his rear end.

Cutting to the chase...we have a new dog (unless someone answers the ad we're putting in the paper).

We took "Duncan" to the vet today. The vet checked him for a micro chip (none found) and then put him on antibiotics for the infected wound and gave him his first round of vaccinations.

Apparently, Duncan is about 8 weeks old and is a Labrador Mix. Isn't he adorable!


(In case you're wondering, that's Bruiser's big drippy tongue in the top left corner of the photo.)

Bruiser seems rather indifferent to him. I think they'll be fine.

Render Unto Caesar What Is Caesar's...

...even if it seems like it's actually yours.

Anybody else doing taxes today? I'm scrambling to get ours done before the government gives our refund over to any bank CEO or floundering car company.

I've been at it now for about four hours and the end is in sight. Let's just hope I did it right.

I was actually having a pretty good time with it until I noticed that a miscalculation of mine had nearly tripled our actual refund. Ah, well...at least we don't owe anything...

My favorite line of the day is:

If line 10 is equal to or more than line 11, enter the amount from line 7 on line 13 and go to line 14.

Am I the only one giggling? (Perhaps I'm just illogically giddy from all the mathematics and stress.)

An Exhausting and Disheartening Pursuit

Whilst studying a book I've read many times before, a verse hit me in a fresh way. It's quite beautiful really.

"But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by a human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself. For I know of nothing against myself, yet I am not justified by this; but He who judges me is the Lord." 1 Corinthians 4:3 & 4

This brought a thoughtful smile to my face.

You see, a few years ago, I nearly drove myself mad by judging myself.

Being a naturally introspective person, I was continually scrutinizing my thoughts and actions to the extreme. Aimee, what are your primary motivations? Did you really mean that? Are your intentions truly pure?

An Example:

Years ago I was asked to join a worship team which would require me to sing in front of a few hundred people on Sunday mornings. I prayed about it (good). I thought about the practicalities of it (good). I discussed it with Jeff to get his take on how my involvement would affect our family (good). I examined my attitudes and thoughts about being in such an upfront position (good). Then, I began to mull over all the possible, likely and unlikely, effects that could result from my service on the team (um...still sort of good). Soon, I was unduly focusing (this is where I went downhill) on every little inkling of bad that was already in me or could spring up in me through this venture (primarily pride). Because I saw slight potential for sin, I declined joining the team.

It would have been one thing if I had a history of getting ridiculously puffed up from similar situations, but I'd been on multiple worship teams before without any truly problematic results.

In my attempts to keep bad from happening, I neglected to do good.

My motivations were good. I craved purity, sincerity...holiness. So where was the problem?

Examination vs. Dissection

Scripture does tell us to examine ourselves to determine if we have a genuine faith in Christ (2 Corinthians 13:28) and when we partake of Communion (1 Corinthians 11:28).

However, what I was doing was dissecting myself.

Examination explores something. Dissection dismantles the same thing, rendering it useless.

Doomed for Failure

Any time my mind is preoccupied with thoughts of myself, I'm going to be confronted with possible scenarios of sin and weakness. Whenever I mentally dissect my motivations for my various actions, I'm going to find at least a little yuckiness here and there. After all, I'm a sinner!

Examining myself realistically is sometimes necessary, yet if immoderate self-judgment is leaving me paralyzed, then it's not achieving that which proper reflection ought.

The Actual Judge

"...He who judges me is the Lord." 1 Corinthians 4:4b

and

"Vindicate me, O Lord, for I have walked in my (imperfect and at times waning) integrity. I have also trusted (sometimes) in the Lord; I shall not slip (if You hold me up). Examine me, O Lord, and prove me: Try my (unsteady) mind and my (sinful) heart." Psalm 26:1 & 2 (parenthetics mine)

Judging myself is ultimately exhausting and disheartening. Trusting that God will judge me with His gracious omniscience is strengthening and freeing.

(I think) Corrie Ten Boom said (something kind of like), "Look around and feel oppressed, look within and feel depressed, look to God and be at rest."

Eventually, I got over my paralysis and when asked again to join the same worship team, I agreed, praying that God would help me to not fall into any "traps"...and believe me, all sorts of things happen to keep me humble.

A Sandwich from the Past

Jo asked if Tobias actually likes bologna. (See previous post.) No, he doesn't, but that hasn't always been the case...


One day, when Tobias was in first or second grade, he came home and announced that he had eaten a delicious sandwich at school that day.

He didn't normally rave about the PBJs that I packed him, so I was a little confused.

"What do you mean?" I queried.

"I ate this sandwich that had soft, pink meat in it," he replied with a dreamy, contented look in his eyes.

I felt my stomach lurch. What was he talking about? Where had he gotten this sandwich and what exactly was it that was now digesting in his belly?

Carefully, I steadied my voice and began to ask my many questions.

After a while of listening to his little-kid answers, I ascertained that in the lunch area there was a table that the yard duties had designated for unwanted lunch items. Considering the picky appetites of so many children, you can only imagine how high the stack of rejected edibles must have been on any given day. Other kids were free to peruse the goods and take what they wanted.

Who knows how long Tobias had been helping himself to this Cornucopia of the Abandoned. (He probably got the same thrill that I get as I pick over the 50% off section at Fresh and Easy. Yippee!)

Anyway, deducing that the "soft, pink meat" was probably bologna (ugh...full body shiver), I told him what bologna was made of. Additionally, I forbade him from taking anything from the Table of Plenty that was not factory sealed, explaining that the maker of that sandwich may have been picking their nose while they did so (although, that might not make a bologna sandwich any worse than it already is--sorry, Oscar Meyer).

Bologna has been a source of amusement in our lives ever since and on Tobias' birthday, the sandwich that Delaney gave him fulfilled its role as a birthday prank and was then eaten...

...by Bruiser.

Happy Birthday, Tobias!

We love our boy so much and are incredibly proud of him.

'Twas 14 years ago tonight that we met this little guy face to face:




It wasn't long before he was playing with a whole barrel full of monkeys:




He sure has changed a lot, but he still loves to ham it up for the camera:




Delaney thought he would appreciate getting a special gift from her for his birthday:




The upside-down sign reads: "Your very own bologna sandwich!" (And yes, she bought the nasty stuff with her own money and made the sandwich with her own two hands.)


Don't worry, he got a few other things, too. :)

Yellow-Belliedness

I spent countless nights as a child staying as still as possible under my bed covers so as to not attract attention from any monsters who had yet to notice me lying there. Of course, I NEVER let any of my tasty-looking appendages hang over the side of my bed. (I assumed that feet were especially enticing to what ever ominous creature lived under there.)

Fear has long been my unwelcome companion. I could write a huge, long post on my various fears and what I've learned from them over the years, but I don't have that much time today, so I'll share what I've learned through just one of them...

Chicken on Board:

When I was 19, I was in a horrible car accident. The rear tire of the car in which I was traveling at 75 miles an hour blew out and the driver slammed on the brakes. (Tip: DON'T do that. When you have a blow out, just ease off the gas and let the car come to a stop on it's own if possible.) This resulted in us swerving into a freeway center divider, flipping over and spinning on the hood. Miraculously, neither myself nor my two companions were injured. (Volvos are safe, even the twenty-five year old, laughably ugly ones.)

Riding in a car (and other vehicles) was not the same for me after that day. I had lost my ability to be truly at ease when traveling. Hmmm, I thought...cars can crash.

A few years later, on New Year's Eve, I had four year old Tobias and 1 year old Delaney with me when I slid across ice on a mountain road and careened into a muddy snow bank. The auto repair shop had our car for several weeks and I had only had it back for about ten days when it got smashed into by a lady on Valentine's Day. (Another tip: Blinkers lie! Don't believe them.)

I was very scared of driving after these two accidents in just a six week period. I am embarrassed to admit that I didn't sign Tobias up for swimming lessons that summer because I didn't want to drive back and forth to the pool. I was almost at the point where I would only drive to the market and back. (I knew we had to eat!)

Soon, I realized that I had a long life ahead of me and I didn't want it to be limited to the walking distance around my home. Thus, I began to pray, "God, please take this fear away. I don't want to be controlled by it any longer." For months I prayed multiple variations of that prayer (perhaps subconsciously thinking that if I stumbled across just the right verbiage, God would be triggered into action) and found myself increasingly frustrated because I saw no progress.

Why wasn't God answering? It was an honorable desire and I was humble in my requests.

Not From, but Through...

One day, as I climbed into my car, I was praying the latest version of my plea when it struck me that perhaps God wasn't going to deliver me from fear, but rather through fear. My prayer took on a sudden evolution into something like this:

"Father, You know that I am fearful as I back this car out of the driveway and am surrounded by objects with which I will potentially collide. I don't even want to go where I'm headed, but I know I can't live my life that way, so I will go. Please help me to be courageous in spite of my fear and help me to think about what is true and rational, not on what is possible but unlikely."

Since then, I've had multiple opportunities to apply this basic lesson elsewhere. When I am afraid but forging ahead, I know that I am relying on God.

Nine years on, I have grown more at ease sitting in cars, whether behind the wheel or simply as a passenger (although I must confess that each time we pull safely into our garage I celebrate inwardly, thinking, "We made it! No one is injured and our insurance rates won't be going up!").

Oops!

Twice this week when I was in a public place, I was mortified to look down and see...







Oh, horrors! (My socks were even inside out!)

As if I wanted to call even more attention to my "size nine wide" life companions.

It seems that I have a tendency to forget to check the stylishness of my feet before venturing out of the confines of my own fashion-free home.

Am I to be blamed that I love flops but want my feet to be warm at the same time?

Next time I'll make sure I have some curlers in my hair to complete the look.

A Welcome Rarity

A couple of nights ago, we got two inches of snow. I know that amount is laughable to some of you, but it's unusual here.


The next morning, I let the kids be a bit late to school so they could play in it. Some of you nicer parents wouldn't have made them go to school at all, but 'nice' I never claimed to be. :)


Isn't it beautiful?

The Truest Peace

I remember reading a book while I was in junior high (I think it was Shogun) and one small portion spoke very clearly to me.

A Japanese character explained to a visitor to the island nation that he believed there were three parts to each person: the outer man who is known by everyone, the inner man who is known by a few and the innermost man of all who is known only by the man himself.

This struck me as so true...and so sad.

As a young teenager, I felt that my truest self was virtually unknown and on some levels I wanted to stay that way because of what I knew about that self. I felt so alone.

Soon after that, I learned that God (Who is not bound by the same restrictions that we are) did know me. He knew me with all of my hopes, insecurities, joys and questions and what relief to learn that He loved me in spite of my faults and weaknesses.

To know that I am known and loved by my Creator has given me a vital sense of peace. I easily recall what it was to live without that peace and I never want to go back to that state of mind.

Peace with God is the truest peace of all.

"Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ..." Romans 5:1

The Boy in the Striped Pajamas...

...is the best movie I've seen in a couple of years.



Seriously. It was amazing.

It beautifully shows the Holocaust through the eyes of a child.

The characterization of everyone was easily believable. (Usually my biggest gripe with movies and books is that the characters do or say things that I just can't buy into.)

The cinematography is fabulous. There is no sex and the violence is only implied. The acting is spot on. The plot is riveting. (And I'm quite picky about all these things!) I'm telling you, it's a movie that you must see.

You might be a bit uncomfortable during the first few minutes because it focuses on the happy family of a Nazi Officer, but as the realities of what the Nazis were actually doing become evident, the consequences follow.

It is very sad, but more in a thought provoking way than a fall-apart-in-your-theater-seat way. (I don't enjoy morphing into a sloppy, weeping public display.)

We decided that Tobias is going to see it as soon as it comes out on video, but Delaney's tender little heart is not yet ready to struggle with the realities of the Holocaust.

See it.

'Tis the Season

We've never done the whole Santa thing in our house.

Don't get me wrong...we don't have a personal vendetta against the guy.

We don't wonder at the spiritual maturity of those who hand their kids over to him at the mall for a photo op. We don't find spiritual significance in the fact that if you switch a few letters around in his name then you get "Satan". We do get a guilt-free kick out of silly Christmas movies (such as "Elf") which include the jolly old Northerner. So, as you can see, we're not on a campaign for Santa obliteration.

When the kids were little, we warned them not to ruin the concept of Santa for their friends who do have him as a part of their holiday celebration.

Could you Santa fans please ask your kids to return the favor?

This is the second year that Delaney has been harassed for not believing in him. I've been a witness...

Last year, she had a pal (we'll call her Amber) over to our house after Christmas. The girls were sitting at the kitchen table when Amber (with the utmost patience that a fourth grader could muster) asked:

"Delaney, do you believe in Santa now that Christmas is over?"

D: "Uh...no."

A: "Delaney, I got presents from him. The tags said so. He even gave my mom and dad some things."

D: silence

A: "My parents said he's real and they wouldn't lie."

D: "Uh, I don't really want to talk about it."

A: (The following statement was delivered with piety of the most religious caliber possible.) "Delaney, if you just try then you can believe in him. (sigh) I think you need to think about that."

Well, that was last year. I thought that surely by 5th grade, the faith-filled few would have dwindled down to nil. Oh, no...Santa's evangelists are at it again, trying to browbeat the disbelieving into the kingdom of the North Pole.

Yesterday, Delaney brought home a note from school that had passed between her and another girl.

Other Girl: "If you don't believe in Santa, then why do you draw pictures of him and his reindeer?"

D: "Because it's fun."

OG: "How could you Delaney? How could you not believe in Santa?"

I realize some people consider the idea of Santa as part of the whole magic of Christmas and that's fine, but personally, I think that peace on earth has a bit more sparkle.

Those Kids are at it Again...

Yes, Thing One and Thing Two are participating in yet another musical at the local theater. (I'm afraid it has become an addiction of theirs that we'll have to monitor carefully.)


They are truly enjoying themselves. Jeff and I are quite proud of them as they play their parts very well.

Tobias plays a Punch and Judy puppeteer:


And he gets to dance with beautiful girls:

Delaney plays a street urchin (although she looks pretty well-off for a destitute cast-off to me.) :


Additionally, she plays a unicorn in the toy parade scene (or did a unicorn swallow her whole?) :


There will be shows on Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday of next week. Then they'll be getting back to bed at a normal hour (and so will I. :))

Results for the Great Turkey Roasting Experiment of 2008

I'm very pleased to report that the twenty three pound gobbler that I recently prepared turned out very nicely. I doubt, however, that I will again purchase such a large bird. I felt quite unlady-like squatting and straddling a corner of the open door to hoist that thing in and out of the oven when it came time to baste it. (No, there are no pictures.) Thanks to all of you who gave advice and encouragement.

Below, you see our yearly family picture taken at Thanksgiving by Jeff's dad. Below that, you see last year's photo. Aren't the changes in the kids amazing?

2008

2007



By the way, this is the last day of our email service with our old internet server, so I might not be able to alter this blog after midnight tonight...only time will tell. (See my last post.)

Is This Goodbye???

Hmmm...

Yesterday, we had fiber optics installed and in the process changed internet providers and our email address. Just as I feared, the delicate balance of our online existence was rocked and I lost access to adding to and altering this blog. It appeared as if I would have to kiss it goodbye and start anew elsewhere.

I went as far as to create a new blog over at www.aswewendourway.blogspot.com, so if I continue to have troubles with this one (www.amongthemany.blogspot.com) then that is where I'll be.

Last night, something compelled me to try one more time to sign in at this blog and it actually worked (even though I used the same user name and password as I had the all other times).

So...if after a while it appears that this blog has cyber spiderwebs and dust all over it, then try over at the aforementioned new blog address.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Internetless

Fiber optics are coming to our neighborhood, so I made an appointment to have the box installed. We are also changing internet providers. I planned it that we would have an overlap of coverage of about 5 days so that we wouldn't be without the Net for even a day.

Well, apparently someone at DSL Extreme took it personally that we were canceling with them because they dumped us ten days early! I called yesterday and the guy couldn't give me an explanation as to why that happened (not even a lame one).

So here I sit at the library on a hard wooden chair announcing to you all that if you need to get a hold of us over the next week, it would be best to call us. Also, our old email address is likely to be defunct, so I'll send out the new one when I know what it is.

It's Been an Odd Day

It didn't start out strangely.

The weirdness didn't hit until about 1:00 pm. I was at the grocery store when I came within three feet of...

...the hairiest man I've ever seen.

He was right in front of me in the check out line. (He looked quite normal from the neck up.)

He was shirtless, apparently unaware of the many social blunders that his partial nudity was tempting me to commit:
I wanted to giggle. I wanted to stare. I wanted to take a DNA sample.

Seriously...there was no differentiation between the hair on his back and the hair on his front. It all just flowed together like a strange pelt of poor quality.

The most astonishing thing of all was that there were little bits of dried grass stuck in his back fur like Bruiser has after rolling around on the lawn. No joke!

Delaney was with me. I'm glad since she can therefore lend credence to my tale. It's best to have a partner in moments of incredulity.

When we got into the car, she made me laugh out loud by asking, "I wonder what his armpits look like!"

Okay, so swallow the little bit of dinner you just hurled up and read about the rest of my day...

Last week, some friends blessed us with a couch and chair that they were getting rid of. Due to limited space, we needed to get rid of the futon (which someone else blessed us with years and years ago), so I called the Greensheet and placed an ad in the "Free" section.

Yesterday, we got four phone calls. The second caller drove an hour to get here, strapped the full sized futon onto the roof of his sedan and drove off. (I wondered all night if he made it home.)

Well, apparently, most people got the Greensheet today because as of 8:44 pm we have received 45 phone calls! No, not 4 or 5, but forty-five! Our phone has never rung like this.

Once told that the futon was gone, one lady asked me, "Do you know anybody who is selling a couch?" I assured her that I did not. (Jeff told me later that I should have said, "Yeah...Ikea.")

Another guy called to ask what a futon was. He took the time to tell me, "I looked it up in the dictionary and I couldn't find it." Boy, I bet he's a fun date.

By dinnertime, I had grown weary of interacting with all of these strangers on a human level, so if I didn't recognize the number on my caller ID, I'd try my best to sound like an automated message when answering and say things like, "Hello, if you are calling in regards to the free futon, we are sorry, but it is no longer available. Thank you. Goodbye."

It is now 9:00 and the phone hasn't rung for about 20 minutes. Perhaps the onslaught is at an end.

I did it!!! (We'll see if I regret it.)

I bought a turkey today with plans to actually cook the thing.

Rolls, I can do...

Pies, I can do (if I buy the pre-made crusts)...

Neither mashed potatoes nor stuffing strike fear in my heart...

...but there's something about a solid, mammoth sized, roundish-so-it-can-easily-slip-through-your-arms-and-break-all-the-bones-in-both-of-your-feet-at-once, $23.00 bird (are we sure it's actually a bird and not a medium sized mammal?) that makes tofu seem like a tasty alternative for Thanksgiving's main dish (at lease if I'm cooking).

Today at the grocery store, I was absent-mindedly strolling along when I was blind-sided by an offer I couldn't refuse: "Buy $25.00 worth of groceries and get a turkey for 60% off!"

Hmmm...no wonder a crowd was gathering at the floor to ceiling fridge. When it was finally my turn to open the huge glass door, I wrestled an unyielding, plastic covered carcass into my shopping cart, onto the check stand's conveyor belt, back into my cart, onto the floor of my little sedan (I think it left a dent) and finally into the yawning abyss of our big freezer in the garage, remembering the whole time to lift with my legs, not my back.

There lies the cryogenic beast, awaiting it's journey to the fridge (where it will probably crack through a couple of shelves, oh, and where is all the other food supposed to go for those three days of thawing?) and then into the oven where it may possibly dry out and resemble astronaut food due to my lack of massive-poultry-cooking skills.

No matter what happens, I know there's one member of the family who will be pleased with the end result of The Great Turkey Roasting Experiment of 2008:


Can you sense his excitement?

Hey Y'all!

I just returned from one of the most enjoyable experiences of my life. Although I've been preparing for it for a couple of months now, I didn't mention it here because it was a surprise for a few key people--people who actually read this blog. :)

Some women from my church fellowship and I hopped on a plane and put on a women's retreat for a group of our beloved friends in Kentucky. Although they knew a retreat was going to take place, they didn't know who would be a part of it, so I had to stay silent.

It was so wonderful. I had the honor of leading about 25 women (including a handful of fabulous little girls) in worship. It was beautiful to see all of these women working together, using their gifts and abilities to serve each other and God. Our skills complemented each others' so that everything was accomplished effectively and honorably.

Imagine being with a large group of women for five days and not hearing even the tiniest bit of gossip. That's how wonderful these women are!

God was glorified in the love and concern that everyone showed for each other. His Spirit taught us through the two teachers, Katrina and Joan, helping us to focus on what is truly important in life and to maintain a proper perspective.

Thanks Micky and Brian for hosting me; thank you Charlene for organizing things at your end and carting us around town; thank you Jen and Donna for attending the retreat and hanging out with us; thank you Krista, Sarah and Regina for attending the retreat even though you knew you'd be surrounded by a bunch of women you didn't even know.

On Sunday, we were able to attend a church service at Emmaus Christian Fellowship. I loved seeing that God is working there, blessing the efforts of the people who planted ECF just a year or so ago.

It really was a beautiful time for which I am very thankful.

God is good.

Whether You're Pleased With The Outcome Or Not...

...you have to appreciate the fact that American society has come a long way. Who would have thought even 30 years ago that the American people would elect an African American as president? Our racial bias is at an all-time low and that, my friends, is cool.

Arrrgh...(followed by discontented, indistinguishable muttering)

Because I am tired of wearing the clunky tennis shoes and the starting-to-fall-apart flip flops that I own, I decided to go shoe shopping.

If any of you are squealing delightedly, then you must not understand. You see...I wear a size 9 wide.

You would think that a person of my somewhat miniature stature would be blessed with dainty little feet, but that is not the case.

With fierce resolve, I parked my car in front of a very large warehouse-type shoe store, thinking, "Surely I'll be able to find something in there." (The place was five times the size of my entire house.)

Inside I trod with something close to a spring in my step.

It was wall to wall shoes with cute samples on display. (I've noticed that the display shoes are usually about a size 6. Unfortunately, even the most delightful looking size sixes look considerably less charming once they are blown up into a size nine.)

Under the samples were boxes and boxes of the available shoes. (I don't need to explain this; you've all been inside a shoe store.)

With hope, I began to scan all the boxes looking for that vital "W" next to the size. I soon realized that very few shoe companies even offer "wide" shoes because there were virtually no "W"s anywhere. I wondered why that would be the case as my frustration grew.

Suddenly, it dawned on me...they don't want me to wear their shoes! They don't want their shoes to be associated with a wide-footed gal such as myself! (You know how "Limited" and "Hurley" clothes only go up to about a size 11 or 13 so that only the trimmer sectors of the high school girls will be wearing them? Well, it's just like that, but with feet. I really think I'm on to something with this...)

Finally, after looking on nearly all the aisles for illusive "W"s, I spotted the closest thing I could find which was a "M/W" which I interpreted as being a "wide" that doesn't really want to admit that it's a "wide" so it implies that it's practically a "medium".

I grabbed a couple of "M/W" marked boxes and a pair of peds and settled onto the little chair provided, preparing myself for disappointment...which came rather quickly.

After returning the shoes to their boxes and stuffing the used peds into my purse (I'm assuming that they didn't want them back), I left with my flops on my feet, trying to focus on the fact that I had just saved upwards of $60.

That night, I related my sorrowful tale to my loving family. Jeff offered to simply make me some shoes by outlining my feet on some tractor tire tread. Thanks, Babe.

He then did something that actually was rather helpful. He went on line and googled "Wide Footed Women's Shoes" and bookmarked one site in particular so that I could peruse their selection at my leisure.

I thought that was rather sweet of him until I realized that I am now a woman who has a "Wide Shoe" site bookmarked on her computer!

TRY HARDER!!!

That's the message I've been sent.

The mirror started to convey it to me a few years ago with a friendly little wink and a nod. Gradually it grew less coaxing and more insistent. Well, these past few months, my ears have been ringing with it every time I walk away from anything with a reflective surface.

So, I have heeded the call. Now, on an almost daily basis, I am...

wearing makeup.

Up until this point, I've been a mascara and lip gloss kind of a gal. I don't like wearing more than that for two specific reasons:

1. The stuff is messy--I prefer to rub my itchy eyeballs without fear of smudges. Also, I like to drink from glasses without leaving proof of my lips' lack of natural beauty all over the rim.

2. The disappointment factor--You see, when I come to bed at night and my husband beholds my newly cleansed face, I don't want him to wonder, "Where's that more attractive woman I've been looking at all day?" (However, I've realized that I'd rather he was a little disappointed at night than all day long!)

Alas, my sense of vanity has overridden both of the above.

I invested in some eyeshadows and have been dutifully applying them each morning. I bought a couple of lipsticks but am not very happy with them. (They always appear brighter on my face than they do in the tube.)

Do I dare admit that I purchased a set of fake eye-lashes? I know that some of you use those and you look quite nice with them on, but I couldn't get them to blend in naturally with the rest of my face. I looked like a wannabe-floozy. That's right, I said "wannabe-floozy" as in I looked so ridiculous that I couldn't even achieve floozy status.

So, there you have it...my tongue-in-cheek confession of what I'm doing about feeling 25 but looking 34.

I'm just beginning to get comfortable with this...

Adriana and Mandy!!!

Our friends, Adriana and Mandy are at school in Spain right now. They are missing certain things about American life, so we grabbed the little photo cutout that Mandy's mom gave us and took them on an adventure.

After church, we went to lunch. Tobias tried to share his fish taco with the girls. They declined, smiling broadly.



The girls were frightened by the sight of the massive burrito I purchased at Chipotle. Delaney tried to comfort them.



Having finished our lunch, we ventured over to the local family rip-off, uh...I mean family "fun" place and had ourselves a good time.

Unfortunately, A&M didn't meet the height requirement to ride any of the rides.


We settled on miniature golf. The girls were just happy to be there (even if "there" meant being posted on Jeff's rear end.)


Hey wait...I thought they were in Spain...so how is it that we got a glimpse of them in Holland in this shot?


And here they are in a place that looks suspiciously like Kentucky...



The girls weren't even embarrassed to join me in a goofy little victory dance to celebrate a hole in one! (Well, maybe they were embarrassed, but they didn't complain or run away.)



Uh, girls...I know that looks like a festive place to hang out, but you might want to move.


In More News As We Are Wending Our Way...

Jeff delighted me with a sweet pucker up when he came home after his lip and gum numbing dental appointment. (Yes, I did kiss him once I stopped laughing.)


Here's a close-up:



Delaney has now joined the contact lens wearing members of society. Although she had a rough start (touching one's eyeballs is not natural), she is now excelling in the application and removal of her new vision aids.


I successfully removed and refitted a tire that had picked up a nail somewhere, all under the watchful eye and helpful guidance of my husband. It was the first time I had ever undertaken this "manly" task and I was pleased that the car drove normally afterward. (Regardless of how the picture looks, my knees are not suffering from Elephantitis.)




And as for Tobias...well, he's just creeping around...

So Sorry...

I seem to have unintentionally misled some of you with my last post.

I did not compose that poem in one sleepless night. I simply posted it. It took me several hours over several days to compose it last June.

Now I'll go back and rewrite the post to make that more clear.

Sorry!

The Insomniac-Poetess

Lying in bed, turning and tossing, is one of my least favorite hobbies, and yet, I seem to partake in it quite regularly. Thus you see before you tonight's (this morning's?) post.

I started to write this poem on our trip to Oregon and finished it a few days after we returned home. It is about how Time is simply a measurement of the Earth's rotation on its axis and its progress around the sun. Therefore, would Time cease if the Earth stopped in its movements?

Each instance of the Earth's parade
About its maypole sun
Officiates a year's demise--
Declares four seasons done

A year is meted out oblong
And into twelfths is sliced--
The portions thus produced are months
Which into weeks are diced

A week sequesters seven days
Of hours, twenty four
Which julienned with sharper tools
Make sixty segments more

Each minute's divvied sixty times
Into tidy seconds--
Today spins into yesterday
As tomorrow beckons

All lives are measured constantly
And shorter ever found--
Each period unrolls outstretched-
A skein of yarn unwound

If cosmic brakes applied could halt
The planet's pirouette
Or stop the sphere's race 'round the sun
To tick would clocks forget?

(Arrrgh...I'm still not tired.)

New Post Elsewhere

On August 16th, I started a new post and kept a draft of it. Tonight, I finished it, but when I published it, it appeared in its chronological order, so it's several posts back. I'm not blog-savvy enough to figure out how to alter the original date and place the post here. Oh well...So, if you want to read it, scroll down about six posts. It's called "Report to Carousel".

A Bit of Unexpected Encouragment

A couple of days ago, I was discouraged to see my hand emerge from my mailbox with a very fat envelope. You see, it was a group of my poems that had been sent back to me, rejected by yet another poetry journal (and no, I did not send them "Ode to Snot" nor the one about the wart on my foot.)

At dinner, though, Jeff said something that cheered me considerably.

Jeff: "You're quite popular at my work."

Me: "Huh?" (You see, I've only met one of the people he's presently working with. That was at Walmart and I couldn't imagine what charming thing I could have done or said while standing next to a large stack of Dial Soaps that would have endeared me to everyone in the Transpo Office.)

Jeff: "Yeah, Mrs. So and so says that you should be nominated for Wife of the Year."

Me, with an eyebrow raised: "Huh?" (At this point, I was beginning to think that he was being sarcastic and I almost slipped into defense mode.)

Jeff: "Yeah, she saw that you had packed me a lunch again today and said you deserved an award. Everybody sees the meals you send with me and says that you're awesome."

At this point, I started laughing because some of the meals I send with him are quite paltry. I mean, they're all edible (except for that one piece of cornbread that I didn't realize had turned rancid) but as for quality...they're just not very inspiring unless you're really into leftovers slopped into tupperware.

This made me so happy. I mean, I've been faithfully doing something that isn't really a big deal in my mind at all and apparently a number of people have noticed and appreciated it.

This doesn't thrill me because of my own "fame" at Jeff's office (in fact, if they actually tasted some of the food I send then they might withhold all future praise), but rather because they can see how our Christ-centered family functions. Jeff cares for me by going to a less-than-fabulous job every day and I care for him by packing him less-than-fabulous meals. Jeff's not shy about his beliefs so I'm sure everyone there knows He follows Christ and they probably suspect that I, Jeff's unseen wife, follow Christ as well.

Now, I realize this might not be something that you do, but that's okay. You don't need to pack meals for your husband to prove your love for Jesus to the world. If you truly do love Jesus then you are doing all sorts of things that convey that to others.

Christ's commandments to us to 1)Love God and 2)Love others automatically result in our actions shining brightly in this dark place and we are a witness of His love in even our most mundane tasks.

I hope that encourages you as much as it encourages me.

Feeling Blue?

If so:

1. Go to abc.go.com
2. Click on "Full Episodes" near the top left corner
3. Click on "Wipeout"
4. Choose an episode (week 8 is quite amusing)
5. Enjoy

If this doesn't bring a smile to your face then you should look into getting some counseling.

Pertinent Info That You May Never Get To Use

Tonight, Jeff was stuck at work, so the kids and I had dinner without him. Over the course of the meal, I was informed that I am a "mean mother" because I was forcing them to eat butter beans. They were just kidding...sort of.

Afraid that my "cool mom" status was on the blink, I pulled out a sure-fire child pleaser from my arsenal...a mango!

Free MangoTutorial:

Knowing that my quality of life has improved since I began buying these little beauties on a regular basis, I've decided to share my mango knowledge with those of you who may be lacking in this regard in hopes that you, too, will benefit.

You see, I experimented with mangoes once in my mid-twenties with uninspiring results, so it was not until about a year ago that I began enriching my existence with mangoes on a regular basis.

It is easy to become frustrated while preparing mangoes for consumption because they are slippery little buggers. Thus, I offer to you tips to make your experience easier and more fulfilling.

(Note: Never try to peel a whole mango. You will be left with a squishy mess and you may have destroyed much of the edible flesh in the process. Another note: Never try to remove the seed from a mango as you would do from an avocado. It WON'T work. Mango seeds are very mysterious. I doubt anyone has ever seen one completely devoid of mango meat.)

Step One:

Cut the sides off of the mango, circumnavigating the knife past the large and oddly shaped seed in the middle of the fruit.

Step Two:

With a knife, score the juicy flesh of the fruit in a checkerboard fashion, being careful not to pierce all the way through the skin. Then, "pop" the cubes of fruit out, thus preparing for palatable edification.


Step Three:

Eat.

Notice Tobias' eye-rolling state of mango-induced bliss and Delaney's covetous gaze as she struggles on with her portion of butter beans. (You may want to ingest these delectable bits in private until you master the art of controlling your reactions.)

Step Four:

While your children are partaking in the pleasure entitled "Mango", you can return to the cutting board and easily cut off the strip of skin that remains around the cross-sectioned, seeded portion of the mango.


Now it is your turn. Position yourself over the kitchen sink (your chin is about to start dripping) and bite all the remaining juicy flesh off of the seed. This is not the easiest part of the mango to eat--you gave those parts to your children. (Parenthood is full of such sacrifices.)

So...go out and buy some mangoes! If your first couple aren't that fabulous then try, try again. Some are definitely better than others, but once you get a really good one, you'll be hooked. I've had the best luck with mangoes that I bought at small Asian markets or fruit stands as opposed to those from supermarkets.

A Possible Farewell:

The reason why I entitled this post as I did is because the Large Hadron Collider is set to be activated sometime within the next three hours. I'll take this moment to bid you all adieu in case this is our last bit of communication.

(Fade out to REM's "It's The End Of The World As We Know It.")

It's Almost Over...

...Summer, that is.

I must confess that just about the only things I like about Summer are the family trips and the coleslaw. (Mix 1/2 cup mayo, 1/4 cup buttermilk, 1 and 1/2 tablespoons white vinegar, 1 teaspoon granulated onion powder, 2 and 1/2 tablespoons lemon juice, 1/3 cup sugar and 1/2 teaspoon salt. Pour over 16 ounces of shredded cabbage. Mix well and refrigerate for at least an hour. Voila! Yum.)

The heat of Summer feels like an assault on my soul. Every year, I feel like I'm just holding my breath until the end of September. It's almost here... :)

DEUTSCH:

I've been spending a lot of time at livemocha.com. Maybe a little too much. It seems that my English is suffering as a result of my quest for learning German. Yesterday, I was reading an article in Newsweek while at the gym and I stumbled on the word "only".

"On-lee?" I thought for an instant. "What's that? Oh, ah yes...own-lee as in 'singularly'."

Not only is my English suffering, but my German is about that of a 1 year old Berliner. I thought I had learned a lot, but Jeff had a co-worker who is a native German call me on the phone. She asked me, "Wie heisst du?" (What's your name?)

My brain totally seized. I asked, "Uh, can you say that again, but verrrrrry sloooooowly?" Yeah, I'm lame.

I love German because it seems like an amusing, trumpt up version of English. A lot of the words are the same or at least similar and they have a bunch of fabulous words that we can only tilt our heads at. This week's picks are:

Radiergummi = eraser
Zimmerschlussel = roomkey
Lebensmittelgeschaft = supermarket

Technically, there are supposed to be some umlauts thrown in there, but my keyboard is ill-equipt.

Jeff's New Experience:

Jeff's off on an overnight "extraction" for work. He and two partners will remove a couple of minors from the places they're in and bring them back to Juvenile Hall. The minors aren't expecting this turn of events and apparently it can sometimes get a bit scrappy since they aren't necessarily happy about going back to the Hall. One of the minors they're extracting this time is a big football player. Jeff says I shouldn't be worried about anything because one of Jeff's partners looks like he could be Djimon Hounsou's fraternal twin:Okay, that's cool.